When I am not wearing my Dinny Hall wave hoop earrings – like the good clean-cut mummy I am – I am wearing teeny weeny earrings. My friend Becky B, who has moved to LA and deserted me, the fucking bitch – comes back every now and again wearing the teeniest weeniest earrings you’ve ever seen. She also got an extra piercing up one ear, which looks terrific but personally I just can’t be bothered to do.

But teeny weeny earrings are perfectly fun and do not require Savlon or a cup of strong sweet tea for the shock.

Orelia do some really good ones, have a look in your nearest TopShop or John Lewis, which both have Orelia concession stands.

My favourites are these bar earrings, which are £12. Only in one ear, please – find something else equally microscopic for the other ear.

Photo on 28-09-2015 at 11.47
yes I *am* a little bit tired

A reader, Hannah, has alerted me in the comments below to a smaller and finer (and therefore better) pair of tiny bar studs are available from & Other Stories. They do look nice:

Screen Shot 2015-09-28 at 17.44.08

And only £7!