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I’ve got my iPhone back! Let me count the ways in which I missed my iPhone:

  1. GoogleMaps

Now let’s count the things I didn’t miss about my iPhone:

  1. Bumping into things while reading emails walking down the street
  2. Being nagged by my kids to play with it
  3. My kids fighting over it
  4. My kids dropping it, necessitating repair
  5. ME dropping it, necessitating repair
  6. Finding myself hunched over it at pretty much all times
  7. Instagram – in fact, I feel so released and free and happy not having access to Instagram that I have NOT installed it back since getting a new phone. Instagram can KISS MY ASS.
  8. It running out of battery every ten minutes

But the thing is, to live in the modern world as a modern person (as opposed to, say, my mother) you need a smart phone. So after two weeks of staggering incompetence on both mine and Vodafone’s part, I got a new iPhone, but couldn’t make several things about it work, so went directly to Phone Heroes in Hendon (they also have a branch in Earl’s Court) and Francesco fixed it for me.

This isn’t strictly Phone Heroes’ bag – they normally just mend smashed screens and iPhones that have been, like, dropped in the bath – but this just goes to show you what flexible, helpful fellows they are. I still fear dropping my iPhone and smashing the screen, but not so much as I did when you had to take it back to Apple and they’d charge you £40m for a new one.

But why don’t you just take it to some bloke on the high street? You will be saying now. “They will only charge you £20.” Yes I’ve done that. And what they do is replace the screen with one that they’ve made themselves out of clingfilm and leaves of gelatine and it will be bollocks and drive you insane, sending you slinking back to Francesco with your tail between your legs. He won’t judge you, though, he’ll just say “It’s okay, we’ll sort it out.”

So go to Phone Heroes. If you’re in London.

The best news ever is that they are about to start doing laptop repairs, just as my MacBook trackpad is on the fritz and my battery only lasts 1 day, sometimes less if I’m having a really heavy day on Pinterest.