Repeat after me: GWACK-A-MOWLEEEE

Because I know that’s all you care about. So here it is: guacamole on Kallo rice cakes. I mean, if you can stand to look another motherfucking avocado in the face.

Whatever you do, do not call this “smashed” avocado, okay? It’s guacamole. GUACAMOLE!

1 avocado

juice of 1/2 a lime

some dried chilli flakes

finely chopped spring onion, if you like burping up onion all afternoon

some coriander leaves


1 Scoop out the avocado into a bowl. Harrass it with a fork and spoon until it is spreadable.

2 Add lime juice, salt, chilli flakes, optional burpy onion, coriander and salt to taste.

3 Spread on some rice cakes and wonder if the thing about avocados being in short supply is really true.