There’s something fascinating about these clompy sandals, which are from Office. They are part ugly dumpy shoe, part slutty stripper-wear. I think they are terrific. Although, fall over in them and you’d do your ankle something rotten.

You will notice that I have not painted my toenails for this picture. I have decided that I refuse to bow to such tight constrains on the nature of “female beauty”, being as I am a terrifying, firebrand feminist.

Also – couldn’t be bothered.