I am at a very particular stage – toilet-wise – with my son, who is 2.5.
I have attempted potty-training once or twice and it is clear that he vaguely knows what I mean, but isn’t quite there yet. His nursery doesn’t care if he’s not potty-trained yet and I don’t really care so I’ll wait until Spring.
Until then, when for some weeks leaving the house requires a bag containing a full change of clothes, a nose peg and a hip flask, we can go about our business, scuse the pun, packing only an emergency nappy change.
But I find toting about the necessary stuff annoying; I want to trip about lightly with only a cross-body bag, not a stupid massive nappy change bag like I’ve still got a baby. So at the bottom of every bag there seems to be a scuffed nappy and sad half-empty pack of wipes. The wipes then get snatched away for some sort of spill or other emergency and then you forget to put them back and then you’re out and about and a beastly smell drifts over to your nostrils from the back of the car, and…
So I have come up with a system of packing a resealable freezer bag with one nappy folded over and a clutch of wipes sealed in another bag and a balled-up pair of surgical gloves and a nappy bag for good measure. I have packed up about five of these little grab-bags and have stashed one in every bag and one in the car with two spare in the house that I can toss to my husband as he wanders off with the kids without even a packet of tissues let alone the makings of a three course meal, crampons, a spare potty an Epi Pen and a mini DVD player and 30 CBeebies DVDs in case he has to go to A&E!!! Chuh men.
As you seal the final outer bag you can squeeze all the air out of it and it ends up being quite a small package and fits into one of my husband’s back jeans pockets, which is the only place is is willing to carry stuff when he takes the kids anywhere.
The nappies don’t get scuffed and fluffy, the wipes don’t get pinched for another job and the thing about a pair of surgical gloves is that they seem a preposterous overkill until you really need them – in which event you want to jump backwards in time and give your former self a big hug and a Twix to say thanks.
This is genius! Mine are all potty trained now as youngest is four but remember all too well the battered fluffy nappy and half pack of dry wipes at the bottom of most of my bags.
I’m loving the hilarity and ingenuity of your fourth and fifth paras and closing phrase. My excuse for reading this time is sympathy induced by distant memories of toddler parenthood but also, more recently, parallels with our dog. We’re normally well-equipped with every means of hygiene known to man when we walk her, but occasionally we nip out, grab a poo bag, have to use it and then she overobliges entirely out-of-schedule, catching US short. When she unexpectedly performed in the park this summer, I was reluctantly forced to sacrifice one of my finest Egyptian cotton handkerchiefs. I’ve since learned, though, that there’s an unspoken code of conduct and camaraderie in that department among dog owners. I recently visited a new pal in St Ives and one morning we walked her friend’s hound (who is apparently rather famous and has a series of early learners’ books written about her). She did her morning duty, we used our one bag, then about twenty minutes later she surprised us by suddenly squatting and producing a vast, acrid bratwurst right on the harbourside promenade and about three metres from someone’s front door. The owner of the house, rather than complaining, disappeared inside and re-emerged with a handful of tissues. Simultaneously, another dog walker appeared from nowhere proffering a bag. I’ve since returned the favour in our local park. It restores your faith in human, if not canine, nature.
This is freaking genius! And the gloves negate the need for bulky and drying anti-bac gel. Going to try the cold stuff too. First Defence stops a full blown cold but then I end up sneezing all the time and having a scratchy throat and I can’t tell if that’s from the first defence or a cold trying to get in, so I carry on using it and so on and so forth…. And it makes my lips taste like weird chemical plastic…
Genius idea. I shall make a few grab bags of my own tonight.
if you are a certain sort of person, it is very satisfying
I did this straight away yesterday like the massive leeching copycat that I am. Drove to playgroup feeling smug. Arrived to find the youngest had weed in a way that bypassed the nappy and was soaked from shoulder to ankle. Your grab bag did not suffice!! Returned home, no playgroup for us just cbeebies while mummy eats a twix in the corner.
I literally don’t understand how a child wearing a nappy could wee itself from shoulder to ankle