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Okay, okay I know I am insanely late to this but I have never been able to work out what dry shampoo was for and now I have found a use for it.

I know that most people use it in between shampoos or between blow-dries or whatever, but I never found it much use for that. Instead I am using it as a very cut-price hair texturiser.

The problem with my hair, which it has taken me all of my adult life to work out, is that is it very slippery. I don’t know if that means it’s fine or flyaway or whatever the fuck hair people would term it but what it is, is slippery. It’s got no stasis. Look, it’s gorgeous hair, I’m really lucky, it’s shiny and healthy and there’s loads of it and all that, but it’s just not cool.

And what has made my hair cool – sorry I mean “cool”, (with the added proviso that nothing I do or wear or say is ever cool by the very fact that I have done or worn or said it), is to grow it 2 feet long and bleach the shit out of it then dump a lot of texturising “product” on the top. The problem with the texturising products that I have mentioned until now is that they are bloody expensive.

[Having said that, I used Toni & Guy’s SeaSalt spray the other day, and that’s only about £8. But, like all sea salt sprays it makes your hair a bit crispy.]

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But Batiste dry shampoo is £3 for a massive can. A MASSIVE one. You have to use it on dry hair, which is the other drawback for anyone who has a real job (though I suppose you could just air dry your hair on the way to work then blitz it with the Batiste in the bogs? No? Not normal human resources executive behaviour?) But if you are a sloppy idiot like me who just sits about thinking about how to have cool hair then this is actually brilliant for making hair just bloody sit there and behave. And if that makes any sense at all to you, then you too must have “slippery” hair. This is now a technical term.