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A word of advice to those getting presents for other people’s children: if you are going to get anything that requires batteries, get the present out of the box, detangle it from its Fort Knox of plastic/wire ties, locate tiny flap, unscrew tiny flap with tiny, doll’s screwdriver – (haven’t got one?! NEITHER HAVE WE, BUDDY) – insert correct batteries the correct way round, check the fucking thing works, screw tiny flap back on with tiny dolly screw then put back in box and then wrap.

If that sounds like too much of a hassle, then maybe get something that doesn’t require batteries.

Note to parents getting own children presents requiring batteries: also do this before presenting child with gift to save yourself much heartache and hassle on the day.

You’re welcome.

What are your top tips for hassle-saving on Christmas Day? Feel free to leave a comment in the handy comment box below.