I have made peace with my weight. A bit. After three months of dieting I can now do a thing where I am on meagre rations during the week, with one spin class thrown in, and then eat whatever the hell I want at the weekend and wake up on Monday no heavier than I was on Friday.

This works for me in a few ways, the most significant being that it’s hard to stick to eating nothing on the weekend because, I don’t know… it just is. The kids are still a bit small and some weekends can be trying. And some are worse, they’re awful. And others are just a total knee-slide where the only reason I don’t start drinking before noon is that it would make the afternoon such hard work.

What makes weekends easier and better is that I just eat and drink whatever the fuck I like. Pancakes and bacon. Pizza for lunch. Clam linguine with half a bottle of white for dinner. Wevs. Bring it on! And then Sunday – full roast and potatoes and crumble with ice cream. Then all the kids’ dinner and cups of tea with biscuits. Fuck it! Because come Monday and children back at nursery and school I’ll be back on the muesli and miso soup.

Though what I’m going to during the Christmas holidays is anyone’s guess.