Tramp/Hangover coat

Herringbone “coat”, Zara, £59

When this coat arrived I was rather disappointed – I had thought it was a coat, when in fact it is a knit. But it was no disaster, as I bought it because I am in need of a good tramp/hangover coat that is just a notch smarter than my parka. And this is, indeed, a notch smarter than my parka and works brilliantly as a tramp/hangover coat.

When I say “tramp” coat, I wonder if you know what I mean; I’m referring to the sort of coat that may have been worn faithfully by someone for 25 years then donated to charity and then picked up by a tramp, who then lives in it until it falls to bits. It must be check or herringbone and slightly fuzzy or hairy.

I am an expert on tramp coats because I live near a day centre for alcoholics – the centre is “wet”, meaning that they are allowed to bring booze into their day centre and drink in a safe place without fear of getting kicked or stabbed or robbed of their tramp coat.

Without wanting to sound patronising, I do have my favourite tramps and come winter they all sport a range of awesome coats. When a particularly decrepit tramp disappears from the streets I always feel a bit sad. What sort of exit can they expect, I wonder. Do they have family.

I do not, of course, mean that you want to wear a coat that a tramp has been living in, I merely mean you probably want a coat of the same sort – something slightly unstructured and cosy that will not hassle you with any stiffness or over-formality that you can shrug on at any time, but particularly when you have a bad hangover and feel like tramping around a bit.