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Okay ladies, start your engines: in the next coming months your mission is to be first to get to whichever high street place does the best knock-off of this striped sweater by Gucci.

Don’t bother looking for the real thing, it’s completely sold out everywhere. Martha Ward and Jess Cartner-Morley will be the only British citizens to own now – everyone else will be wearing theirs in, fuck I don’t know: Gstaad? The chillier parts of Hong Kong? Monaco on a breezy day? And even if it wasn’t sold out, it probably costs about £800, so just forget it.

But a rainbow striped sweater is probably the easiest thing in the whole world for any high street chain to copy and they will. There’s nothing around now, just sale tat and dreary neutrals, but it will arrive soon and you will have to quickly buy it and wear it like mad before it becomes Everywhere and Over.

This sweater will be the SS16’s equivalent of the perfect fairisle knit. I do like a challenge for the New Year. The game is afoot!