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If there’s one thing more boring that people being boring about their New Year diet regimes, it’s people slagging off people being boring about their New Year diet regimes.

Going on a diet is a good thing. And for most people dieting in January, the idea is not so much to change your whole life in a credulous, stupid way, it’s just about going back to how you were eating back in September or October, back before there was a pile of 20 mince pies in the corner of your kitchen that needed to be eaten or chucked out.

For people who are a bit neurotic about what they eat and a bit worried about their weight Christmas is a genuinely troublesome time as there’s not much else to do except sit about and eat. And you are so much more on show around then, to refuse anything except smoked salmon and ask if there are any avocados in the house is just too antisocial – in this country at least.

And for those who find combining childcare with a fussy eating plan impossible (i.e. me) you just have to let go for those three weeks and then get back on board with the weight-maintenence thing in January.

Anyway I am just a massive smug bitch at the moment because I am only 2 pounds heavier today than I was than when the kids broke up for the Christmas holidays. This either means that I didn’t eat and drink as much as I thought I was eating and drinking, or I did more exercise, or that my normal term-time diet isn’t very effective.

Either way, I am going back on a diet in a stealth way, just eating what I used to eat before Christmas hit like a tsunami wave of potatoes and double cream, i.e. cutting out sugar and no drinking during the week.

Okay, okay no drinking wine.