The Spike

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Khaki

My relationship with H&M is just so complicated. There was a time when I was simply banned from going in because of my appalling behaviour once through the doors, buying mountains of clothes indiscriminately, hundreds of vests and the odd misshapen “knit”, which boinged further out of shape once washed and always ended up smelling strange.

But there have been some things from H&M that I have worn into rags. Their long-length spaghetti strap vests are what I put on first, most days. There was a black jersey scoop-neck dress with 3/4 length sleeves that I wore about three times a week for most of 2006-7. There were the two absolutely nailed-on perfect bootcut jeans that I wore most days from 2002-5. And their white “Star” cut jeans. Wow. The best. I still have a dark pink embellished shoulder bag that looks beautiful with a leather jacket and I get endless compliments on that giant oversized Isabel Marant knit cardigan from her H&M collaboration.

And there are times when H&M can read your mind. “God I just really feel,” you think, “like wearing a white scoop neck t-shirt with a pink and gold flamingo on the front. And a knee-length tulle skirt like Carrie Bradshaw wore in the SATC credits,” and you go into H&M and there it fucking is.

I have been poring over various khaki shirts and jackets for weeks, now and been left cold by all of them. Then I recalled that H&M have installed a new “search” button function on their website – they really just don’t give a fuck those Scandis, you used to have to trawl through the whole thing by department – and found not one but two khaki outerwear items that genuinely made my jaded little heart go pitter pat.

This shirt can be used exactly how you would use a denim shirt. In fact, my dream is to build up a wardrobe of denim, navy and khaki items that can be endlessly mixed and matched. And it’s made of Tencel, so it’s nice and drapey, flippy and the sleeves can be pushed up easily.

Screen Shot 2016-01-10 at 16.34.03

£19.99

 

And this jacket. This… jacket… Fuck, it’s like you won it in a game of cards off a Vietnam Vet who went a bit nuts and ended up doing tattoos somewhere in New Mexico. Look at the Aztec detailing! Looking at the freaking tassels on the back. I will not utilise the hideous drawstring waist, obviously.

Screen Shot 2016-01-10 at 16.19.27

£39.99

Screen Shot 2016-01-10 at 16.19.37

I was so sick with lust for both of these items that I paid an extra £5.99 for next day delivery. Christ! It’s at times like this that I just throw up my hands in defeat at the awesomeness of those canny Swedish retailers. You win, H&M. You win.

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Comments

  1. Claire Rowlands says

    January 12, 2016 at 11:07 am

    I was thinking you might be feeling this…although H&M it ain’t…
    https://www.theoutnet.com/product/703870?cm_mmc=Email-_-NonJustIn-_-TuesdayNoPref120116-_-Product

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 12, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      This would look fab on someone… but that someone isn’t me x

      Reply
  2. Kristy says

    January 12, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    Oooooh, liking that first khaki shirt, think I’ll try instore on Thursday. Would it be wrong to put a jewelled brooch on a pocket to make it snazzy? Oh, and I got the name wrong of the Diptyque fresh figgy EDT, it’s Philosykos – the Figuier is all the other home type products with the same scent that aren’t the EDT.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 12, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      no it would NOT be wrong to add a jazzy brooch. great idea x

      Reply
  3. Hannah says

    January 12, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    Here is my confession…. I have never shopped in H&M! Never been brave enough because I thought it was for younger, trendier types! However I must have that shirt. Can’t leave the house due to 3 year old and baby so please help me with sizing. I’m normally a 8/10 on top, what size should I buy online??

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 12, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      This is a 12 and it is quite roomy… I’d go for a 10.

      Reply
  4. Lou says

    January 12, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    That jacket! What size did you go for?

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 12, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      12 xx

      Reply
  5. Rita says

    January 12, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    I was in there TODAY buying about 50 black spagstrap longline vests!! They’re my second skin and SO durable, and they’re only 3.99!! Love love love <3

    Reply
  6. Lisa T says

    January 13, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    Amazing shirt. But aren’t they Swiss?

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 14, 2016 at 9:12 am

      Swiss? No, definitely Swedish…

      Reply
  7. Lisa T says

    January 14, 2016 at 12:01 am

    No, you are right, have just googled. I have been labouring under this misnomer since my teenage years!

    Reply

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