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£11.99 in Boots

I haven’t worn mascara during the day (except while having my photo taken for the paper) for years.

I can’t remember why I stopped – it was around when I had Kitty. I think it was something to do with it feeling heavy and annoying on my lashes during the day and then a pain to take off at night. Or I was too tired to take it off at night and didn’t want it all over my pillow.

Anyway it was for broadly the same reasons that I wore only stretchy clothes and ate Crunchy Nut Cornflakes for lunch at 4pm.

And it turns out that mascaras have come an awfully long way in five years. I, quite randomly, tried this Max Factor mascara the other day and have found myself putting it on every morning since. It doesn’t really feel like you’ve got anything on, it dries quickly so none of those black spots on your brow bone and it seems to come off reasonably easily at night, too.

I doubt that this is the very best mascara available – it’s just a mascara. But it, randomly, suits my needs completely.

Similarly I have very little time for foundation, unless I’m in the middle of a particularly traumatising breakout. Elizabeth Arden’s CC cream Daywear is about as far as I’ll go – but I do like a blurring primer. This Dermalogica one came my way and it’s very good at… well.. blurring things. You just have to make sure your moisturiser is definitely on before you apply this over the top otherwise you get some sort of mad chemical reaction between the two.

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About £38 most places

I see they’ve also got an anti-redness one, which is of great interest to me, being a ruddy-cheeked farmer’s niece.

O, my Uncle. He died this weekend. He was ill for a long time and so this is not a surprise but, god almighty, it is sad for us. He was always kind but he was also a farmer – a proper one. He got up at 4am to sort out the cows and probably had to kill things occasionally. You know what I’m saying, he was a toughie. And bore such an unsettling resemblance to my mother. That’s truly uncanny – your mother as a man.

His dog, Sam, a border collie was my first true love. God I loved that dog. Sam limped a little from an accident I can’t remember exactly what. “He exaggerates that limp,” my Uncle used to say. “When he wants sympathy.” Then he would cackle and whistle Sam to heel (without even putting his fingers in his mouth: skillz) and stamp off up the lane.

If you have not given to charity in a while and are toying with the idea, The Alzheimer’s Society does great things.