I spent all yesterday hiding because I had another piece in the Mail. Whatever you write, whatever the photos look like, however controversial or non-controversial a piece you write, having a piece in the Mail always makes you feel like this is you:
Anyway so I hid at home, only venturing out in a hat and sunglasses and didn’t look at Twitter.
I spent most of my time helping little Sam to blow his nose, as he seems to have caught another cold on top of the two he’s just had in succession. I’m taking him to the doctor on Wednesday. It’s not normal to have a cough and a cold for 6 weeks, is it? Maybe his adenoids have grown back? Is that even possible.
And I’ve given up coffee. I’ve never really, just between you and me, liked it that much. But I felt compelled to “have a coffee” and sort of half-enjoyed that mashed-off-your-face, clench-teethed thing you get from it.
Until I decided that I didn’t. And, further, that it was neither integral to my day, my state of mind or my personality to drink coffee. In terms of a pick me up on an under slept day, tea works fine. And tea doesn’t send me into a foot-tapping, nattering, tooth-licking neurotic spiral.
It’s been like realising that, actually, you hate you boyfriend and ought to get rid of him. Or that you don’t like dancing and don’t ever want to do it in public again. Or that, in fact, Diet Coke is rank.
I like your DM article – esp. your cool dress!
O thank you Wotsit that is very kind of you to say. It was from Jonathan Saunders about 4 years ago! It’s my “thin” dress. If I can squeeze into it, I’m officially thin! Though sitting down is another matter… xx
Love the DM article, it’s hilarious! Not only for the content (who HASN’T *partially* picked a husband/wife for at least one superficial/advantageous reason? Not me) but for the wankers in the comment section falling over themselves to dissect your life choices in the snippiest manner. Laugh all the way to the expensive trainer shop Esther.
P.S. coffee DOES suck.
Thanks Snolly – I choose never to read comments (on the DM) as I would be a nervous wreck xxx
I understand, I would be the same! xx
I enjoyed your article, it was funny and you and your house looked great in the pictures. (I love your bookcases.) It made me think of that line from Pride and Prejudice where Elizabeth says she can date her feelings for Darcy from first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley. She’s joking, but also, she isn’t. I don’t know where they find all these angry literal–minded people to fill comments sections, got the right idea avoiding them.
Anyway, coffee – I got into a thing of having it when I’d had an especially bad night, but then started having heart palpitations and feeling panicky; all stopped when I knocked it on the head. Tea for me all the way. I also hate diet coke, and the fact that if you order coke you seem to get diet as default if you’re female, had it happen so many times and can’t stand the stuff.
yes when you’re very tired and under slept, I find coffee is actually the worst thing to have – it takes your already stressed body and just beats it up a bit more…
Oh, haven’t read the Mail. Was it in the You magazine bit? Try to steer clear of there due to presence of eternal misery-guts, Liz Jones – is she even a real person? Will go and see if I can find it.
ha ha! omg no don’t seek it out, it’s so shaming. it was in life& style on Monday, you can find it online. I look like a total dick in a posh dress posing like an idiot… you will think less of me 🙁 xxx
Not at all, you look fab as does house, but there’s not enough money around to get me to open my self or house to the DM. The comments alone would crush me like a beetle. Well done for not reading them, they’re a special kind of foolish.
Every time I do it, I think “never again”… xx
House and dress are lovely. Wouldn’t recommend reading the comments section, oddly the nicest are the worst rated!
it’s like the only bloodsport left is below-the-line comments on the DM x
Hi there Esther,
I thought the article was fun and witty. Wish you could write stuff for The Guardian. You are a much better writer than most of its stable of lifestyle columnists.
Karen! Bless you. I wish we could ALL write for the Guardian, but they wouldn’t have me. And they pay an absolute pittance – I wouldn’t be able to afford to do this blog on the side. But what a lovely thing to say, thanks x
I think your writing is too good and too funny for the DM. Who are those trolls that write those comments? They are the lowest of the low and how completely tragic that they spend their day thinking up nasty comments to write about people. Why dont they go and do something proactive? As the old saying goes if you have nothing nice to say dont bother. I say this to my children a lot! Why do DM have these comments sections cant they just get rid of them? ps I love coffee is that really bad? Literally cant live without it.
Sarah I think if you love coffee go for it, it probably agrees with you? I feel the same way about really spicy food. My problem was that I didn’t really get on with coffee but drank it anyway because I thought I “ought” to. Mad!
I loved it too – who hasn’t looked at the whole package (so to speak) when they meet someone new. I was sick of going out with edgy creative types with no money and no manners. I then met my husband who is clever, kind, generous, dependable and solvent (as well as gorgeous, funny yadda yadda) and the fact that it was clear that together we would have a comfortable future was definitely part of the attraction.
Anyway, I also agree that you’re much too good for the DM.
Thanks Jessie! They do pay an absolute fortune though… xxx
Ah well, in that case…bleed them dry!!
For me – nice flat in Crouch End and a BMW.
Haha read it : loved it. Bit late to the party here but i do enjoy a bit of Mail-reader-baiting and you do have a way with words.
The spike is good. I finally cast off the black clothes, accepted RR was over and binged on all of it. It’s a new dawn it’s a new day etc etc..