I’m determined to keep my brand new Stan Smiths white, unlike my other 2 pairs of white trainers, which are now grey.

Reading up on this online I see that people are fanatical about keeping their trainers white. Like mental about it. You have to put in the effort, I realise – like being thin or being organised or having a clean car. It doesn’t just magically happen.

I have whittled down for you the 3-point plan for lazy girls on how to keep your white trainers white with the minimum effort.

1 Don’t buy trainers with laces. They are dirt magnets, the first thing to go grey. Get a pair with velcro straps instead.

2 Use this dirt repeller, Crep Protect, all over your shoes when you first get them. Formulated by some insane MC in East London who has 400 pairs of white trainers. What a douche!

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Crep Protect, £10 from Amazon

3 Keep a pack of these Sneaky Wipes in your hallway and give your trainers a clean every now and again with them. They’re not just wet wipes, they have added stuff to help clean and also protect your shoes. The faster you get that splash of tea or streak of mud off, the easier it will be.

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Sneaky Wipes, £5.99, Amazon

One last point: never clean your trainers with hot water as it will warp them.