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Madeline Breton top, £45, Iris & Ink by The Outnet

I’ve got a bit of a thing about breton tops – a bad thing – I had one that I wore all the time with grey skinny jeans and Converse after I had Kitty and it became a sort of totem of, I don’t know, miserable postpartum frumpiness.

So for a long time I didn’t have one, even though they are one of the cornerstones of a wardrobe, let’s face it. You just mustn’t wear it like every single fucking day, with the grey skinnies and the leaky Converse.

But now can I find a good Breton? No, I cannot. They are all too wide at the neck, which doesn’t work on me as my shoulders are weirdly uneven and one side will slop off one shoulder and make me look a mess – and also expose a bra strap: grim. All the others have mad modernising detail, laces, embellishments or other strangeness.

I did in fact get a good plain one from Zara, and it was happy days until it shrank dramatically in the wash and is now only good for layering under a longer top.

Then I came across this one from Iris & Ink, which if you don’t know, is The Outnet’s original clothing line. Iris & Ink is very good; the clothes are plain and inexpensive – they will give you a completely palatable version of whatever mad main trend is, so right now a wearable ruffle blouse, a wearable twist-front dress and so on.

And then this completely standard-issue, stretch cotton Breton in a good colour, nice thick fabric with decent stretch and a generous length, so wearable for me with my long back disease. It’s also only £45. Now to see how it holds up in the wash…