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It’s my birthday soon and I do so like to buttrape my husband’s wallet on birthdays and at Christmas because I don’t feel like I ask for that much the rest of the year. She said defensively.

So if I don’t ask for a wide-angle lens for my camera, I will ask for this, which is a spot on Rita Konig’s 1-day interior design course.

Don’t laugh at me! I’m not a cliche, you can all fuck off.

I was given some years ago a small red book called Domestic Bliss, by Rita Konig – who is an interior designer and also the daughter of Nina Campbell – and it was life-changing. A sort of Interior Design for Idiots book. I cherish my copy.

Generally, in life, I hate feeling like other people know things that I don’t. I spend most of my time wondering what it is that thin people know that I don’t, or what good cooks know that I don’t, or what well-dressed people know that I don’t, or what people with beautiful houses know that I don’t.

If Domestic Bliss was a glimpse into the interior life of the interior designer, surely this one-day course will be a key to the inner sanctum. Konig runs it from her house, her actual house. I could be inside her HOUSE! Not to sound insane or anything… But I could be in her house.

Spaces are limited – at £312.50 per spot I can see why – but she promises to de-mystify everything! Colour, lighting, room layout, electrics, bathrooms, kitchens. These are all things that bother me. Not you, perhaps – but they bother me. And with only and handful of other participants you can ask some really obsessive questions, bring fabric swatches, ask advice. It would be like the best university seminar ever – and actually useful!

If you are not in a position to ask for this for your birthday or even attend a design seminar in London because you don’t live there, but you are interested in the subject, you could do much worse than read Domestic Bliss, which you can buy here.