Embroidered flowing jacket, £49.99
This is a very clever jacket from Zara. It is a jacket, so it is fitted and flattering, but it also has large, bell sleeves, which are so on the money at the moment BUT the sleeves stop billowing at your elbow, so will not drag in your smashed avocado or catch in car doors
The long frill at the bottom also skims over your … I hesitate to say “mum tum” because my husband always comes skipping along shrieking “mum tum!” at me in falsetto and flapping his hands whenever I use the phrase in writing, but that’s what it is I suppose. Unless you’re not a mum, in which case it skims over your tum tum.
They have styled this very badly on the website so ignore that – you will look excellent in this and a pair of denim cut-offs IF IT EVER WARMS UP.
Tweed dress with layered skirt, £49.99
This dress you will have dismissed as for supermodels only, but it is not! What it’s good for is if you have quite a lot of boobs and bum but respectable middle and alright legs and desperately long to look “gamine”. That’s me. I have the exterior of a blow up doll but the interior monologue of Twiggy. Or perhaps Twiggy and Jean Shrimpton. There’s probably enough room for Audrey Hepburn to squeeze in there, too.
Anyway this dress is nice thick material, won’t cling too badly, skims over your hips and the big black bow draws attention away from your giant knockers.
And if you’re thinking: this dress is too smart, I do not have anywhere to wear this dress – you just need to think about wearing it with a black leather jacket and black boots and then I think you’ll find it’s acceptable evening wear to pretty much anywhere. OR put it with a smart pair of heels and a black jacket and it’s off to the ball with you, my dear.
Saw the tweed dress in an episode of TOWIE (of all places) and really liked it … unfortunately I think it will be too short for me – legs are ok but not mini skirt ok. If it was a few inches longer I’d snap it up.
FUCK!!!!! I’ve got a dress off TOWIE. that’s so awful.
Totally off topic but sometimes I think of “come and eat your birdseed” and actually laugh out loud. This morning, I spent 30 mins fending off a gorilla from inside a child sized tent by shouting threats at it… *shudder*
C’MON BIRDIES… COME AND EAT YOUR BIRDSEEEEEED!!! nightmare. night. mare.
just bought this at a knockdown price in the Zara sale after I stalked it for 3 months after seeing it here.
Unexpectedly flattering on my ridiculous 30F boobs. Most things with a high neck just look matronly, but this looks chic enough to wear to the office without looking like a Kardashian going to court.