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Philips Small in-ear design colour buds, £6.30

We are all, in our own way, freakish. I, for example, have incredibly small hands and weirdly tiny ear-holes. Any normal, standard earbud falls out of my ears, particularly the right one.

They always have, all my life. I end up so furious with a sore right earhole from jamming the ear bud in over and over again that I usually tuck the right earbud into the neck of my sweater and have to listen to only the left-hand audio of whatever it is.

It never occurred to me that companies might make earbuds specifically for tiny freak hobbit ears until the other night, when I returned from a run just utterly fuming because I need both left and right audio if I am going to really actually run and not just slop along feeling bored. I don’t want to wear my great big cans because I feel like a dickhead. I want to wear buds like everyone else. I want to be normal.

For all its many faults, Amazon does come to the rescue at times such as these – type in “ear buds small ears” and up pops a solution to your very particular problem and they arrive the next day.