You may remember a few months ago the terrifying story of my friend Annie Kelly, who lost most of her clothes in a house fire.
We went shopping together to put together some basics to see her through early summer. One or two things to wear to work, or on a Sunday. Just things to wear. I was completely and passionately consumed by this project for days, it was such an intriguing question: if you lost all your clothes and had to start again – what would you buy first?
It led to us having a conversation about style and fashion and how they are not the same thing. This is actually a really important distinction to take on board.
If you just want to have some clothes and wear them without looking like a frump or a crazy, if you want to leave behind the stress of feeling like you ought really to be wearing a brocade trouser suit or a fucking kimono, then the thing you have to absorb is that you don’t have to be fashionable in order to be stylish.
You can be stylish without being fashionable. You can certainly by fashionable without being stylish. Sometimes you can hit the jackpot and be fashionable and stylish at the same time, but that often happens more by accident than design. And at any rate, it doesn’t matter, being fashionable. Fashion is a game for very aesthetically acute people, or for the very rich. Looking stylish – or just not terrible – is a social duty.
Pinterest and Instagram are helpful here. They rather worship “classic” things: red nail varnish, stripes, chinos, a knotted scarf just so. If you were to leave the house wearing blue skinny jeans, white trainers, a breton top, a black leather jacket and some sort of tan bag, you would be hailed by both of these social media outlets as a bastion of good taste and style.
Look how cute she looks. Why wouldn’t you want to look like this too?
But so often if you are a certain sort of person you will regard this look as “boring” or a “cliche”. But it is not. And it isn’t boring or a cliche because you are wearing it. And in those clothes is your own individual body, on top of the outfit is your excellent head, your terrific sense of humour, your swishy hair, your twinkling eyes and charming smile.
More cuteness. And easy and inexpensively achieved.
So as we look towards AW16 and thinking about the new term and perhaps updating one or two things about your wardrobe, or if you have just had your last baby and feel the need to get rid of everything and start again, or you’ve just got divorced, or left someone, or come back to the UK after living in Barbados for 6 years, just remember this: if you don’t know what you are doing when it comes to getting dressed, when you arrive at the shops with your credit card in your hand: buy simple things.
If you ever get the feeling that you just want to buy something, buy a navy sweater. Or a grey t-shirt, or a very white pair of trainers. Do not buy anything from Finery – (I fear it and therefore despise it) – or a neon cocktail dress.
I basically have six colours in my wardrobe:
Navy
Black
White
Grey
Khaki
Denim
I have trousers, dresses, shirts and other tops in most of those colours and I switch them around. So sometimes I will wear the khaki trousers with the navy top, or the denim jeans with the khaki shirt, or the black trousers with the grey top. It all goes together. I always – always – have something to wear.
I can see you falling asleep! But that’s so boring, you’re thinking. Aha but you’re forgetting about accessories! About a bright green bag or a nice scarf or gold jewellery or something to liven it up. And you’re also forgetting about my swishy smile and charming hair. Or whatever the fuck it was I said a minute ago.
This is what I do as a person with a limited innate sense of style – I have had to learn the little sense I have, as I had to learn how to cook, or as you might learn another language. I also don’t have the inclination to drop many hundreds of pounds on a Chloe Drew bag or some sort of mad diddy Ferragamo-esque block-heel granny shoes in order to be absolutely right now.
And that’s all I wanted to say about this, really. Any questions, see me after class.
Thank you for that about Finery!!! Everyone seems to rave about it, including my beloved The Pool, and I
Just. Don’t. Get. It.
I look at it, and I try, but just no.
it is possibly one of those brands that looks better on – but I can’t see even one thing that even *might* look nice enough to try and then return. it’s styled so horribly as well, models are way too thin. it’s just too fashion and yikes
God, I love your writing
thanks babez
I’m pretty good for day to day stuff, and summer holiday stuff, but it’s weddings and posh hospitality and things like that which throw me. I’m pretty much a Breton or white linen top, skinnies, (jodhpur boots with long or Birkenstock Gizeh with cuffed), in the day – but always with a pop of colour (am loving orange for scarves and bags). It’s when you get the good invites that I have “OMG, I have nothing to wear” moments – and I have four wardrobes, so it’s not true. I’m guessing everyone feels the same? Hoping everyone feels the same?
things we’re not USED to dressing for, we’re not good at dressing for. if you were a lawyer or a PR girl or something, those weddings and posh hospitality things would be a doddle
I met up with a group of friends recently and we all looked like cut-price Kate Middletons in our Breton tops and skinny jeans, but I still found myself coveting their bloody shoes, and wondering where they’d bought their tops. I saw a very stylish looking woman leave a building in front of me and followed her for a bit (relax!!! I was going that way anyway) and all I could pinpoint about her outfit was black coat, black trousers, black shoes, pretty headscarf. So, I think you’re right (pulls on striped top, swishes eyes, looks like a crazy burglar)
Out of interest, why do you dislike Finery? I’ve been really pleased with everything from there and when a new pair of shoes developed a tiny split on a trim on holiday in italy ( where you really need a shoe to be on point!), they not only sent me a refund for the shoes value plus some extra, but let me keep the shoe. They are still okay to wear and the customer service is fab.
Anyway, I ramble. My fashion advice is if something is in fashion NEVER buy it in the colour and the style of the moment. Remember when pink and cocoon coats were in? By all means by something in pink, but don’t buy a pink cocoon coat as it will date fast. Obvs I wouldn’t buy pink or a pink coat or a cocoon coat but many do. This way you stand a chance of building a wardrobe of perennials that you can recycle year in and year out.
I just don’t get it. I think all the clothes look ugly and wonky. But, look, if you like it I will try again
Oh no need, we all have different tastes. Was just interested in why you disliked it in case you were referring to an ishoo with the way the company was run- and I would be interested in knowing things like that. 🙂
Just had a look at Finery (of which I had never heard): very horse-frightening stuff. Fairly husband-frightening too, I should think; certainly mine would be ears back & eyes rolling … I quite liked the froufy tailored shorts for swanning around my imaginary villa in, though.
Stylish is certainly what I aim for now – it’s more forgiving of the extra stone(s) I’m carrying, and lasts longer than ‘fashion’, especially as that aforementioned lard requires well-cut tailoring to mask it. Nonetheless I still have ‘nothing to wear’ to certain things, esp. smart casual. I can do smart, and I can do casual (usually more like bag-lady, but still). A ‘smart casual’ wedding in June cause minor meltdown, but was eventually solved with only one new purchase (suede wedges). For reference, I wore a long candy-pink linen jacket, ages old and too small to do up over large chest, but worn open over a man’s cream silk shirt, double cuffs turned back over the jacket cuffs, collar up, navy cropped trousers and suede wedges which were beige though I would have preferred navy, but they were sold out. I looked quite elegant, but not overdressed, and – crucially – about how I wanted to look. I also managed NOT to look like I was just popping out to the supermarket, which some women did. Top tips are heels and jackets.
Um. Long ramble. Anyway. Off to sand the staircase now. Think of me, stylish AND fashionable in a paint-spattered Winnie the Pooh t shirt and ancient Gap bootcut jeans with genuine distress(ing) and a huge rip in the arse! Remember – heels and jackets!!
Thank you Sophie, I loved everything about this comment xxx
But never ever do double denim.
Unless you are a Quo fan.
And even then don’t.
I love this post. You are spot on. I do try to aim for stylish rather than fashionable. Even that is a struggle but your recommendations help so much! I found Hush thanks to you and I’ve been ‘filling the gaps in my wardrobe’ (ahem) with their sale stuff. Great quality basics.
Please tell me where I can get those black slip on sequin french style shoes they are utterly adorable I want them!!!
OOO Maggie I don’t know! I just pinched that photo off Pinterest!