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Brooch trio, £9.99

Brooches! What could be more stupid. Even the word… it looks like it ought to be pronouced BROOOOOOOCH, rather than BROACH. It’s one of those words like Cadogan or Heythrop, which is almost designed to catch you out in your ghastly lower middle classness.

I have never knowingly worn a brooch and never like the look of them. BUT, this trio from H&M is insane, delightful genius. I love them and I am going to get them and pin them to my denim/utility jacket as soon as I pass a store (which is approximately 18 times per hour when I am in London). I know they are going to be cheap and jejune and unsatisfying to the touch, I know that the little coloured bops of glass will fall out within six weeks like old teeth, but I don’t care.