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Psyched to have this guy back in my life


Look I really hope this isn’t, y’know, too much – but I’m really worried about my teeth.

I don’t use an electric toothbrush and I floss infrequently. Sometimes my gums are, like… a bit itchy.

I do brush my teeth properly though. I angle the brush to the gum line and all that crap. And I brush for a long time. “You brush your teeth for such a long time,” says Giles.

I also don’t eat much sugar, really hardly any at all. But at certain points my gums are receding, I am getting, literally, long in the tooth. And I know that gums don’t grow back – and that past 35, you’re just mouthful of capped teeth waiting to happen.

I was particularly touched and affected by a scene in The Cazalets (bk 1) were a character is incredibly upset because she has just been told by the dentist that she has to have all her teeth pulled out. And this is in the Thirties where you then had to wear, I don’t know… dentures or something? And she’s only 40.

So why don’t I just floss?

Because I can’t. I just can’t. Last thing at night it’s bad enough having to wash my face, let alone floss. I know it’s not responsible, okay? I’m not asking for forgiveness.

Anyway as you can imagine I was greatly relieved to read this in the paper yesterday – about how flossing isn’t the be-all and end-all of good dental care that hygienists are constantly telling us it is; a combination of Xylitol, found in certain chewing gums and also in the sugar substitute Total Sweet – and mouthwashes will do an okay job if you, like me, have a horror of the pick string.

Here are 5 top tips that I copied out of yesterday’s Times for keeping hold of your teeth without having a floss.

1 Chew Peppersmith mints or gums after every meal.

2 Before brushing your teeth use UltraDex, which removes bacteria.

3 Brush your teeth (you do, alas, actually have to do this)

4 Use Listerine Original mouthwash. This has been proven IN CLINICAL TRIALS to be more effective than flossing.

5 Use Fluorigard before bed