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The Crosley Cruiser. About £70.

Progress is such a strange thing. It has eradicated certain things forever, such as video, cassette tapes, Duo Tan, typewriters, polio and calling for a cab.

Yet some outmoded things, which did in fact briefly teeter on the brink of extinction, don’t just survive this relentless march of modernity, they thrive. I’m thinking of course about hard copy books and Royal Mail. And, of course, vinyl.

I never owned a record player, obviously. I don’t own a single vinyl record. I don’t know anything about vinyl, or music, or how vinyl is better or worse than CDs or any of that crap. My parents, like many people, got rid of their record player – a really handsome brown thing – many years ago. I wish they hadn’t, but it’s no good my saying that now.

My husband still has some vinyl records somewhere but we have nothing to play them on. Recently I think it might be nice if we did. I remember the vinyl records my parents had: I loved the smell.

In our house in Gloucestershire I often think it would be nice to have music on – but the only music we have is via our phones and a speaker. We have no AV “system”; say “Sonos” to me and I will say “I think you can get antibiotics for that”.

And I always inevitably need to wander off somewhere else with my phone, (usually to check the weather, to direct lost visitors – “turn left at the tree that looks like Oprah Winfrey” – or report a riderless horse that has just trotted past the window), thus disconnecting the music and ruining the small puff of atmosphere it has created.

So I wonder if it might now be time to invest in a new record player, something like this very handsome portable number by Crosley (above). I have dreams of putting the Inkspots on the record player on a cosy night while I mix myself a white port and tonic. Or something. In reality would it sit in a corner gathering dust? Perhaps the thing to do is make a little mark somewhere every time I wish I had a record player and if it’s more than 30 times get one. Or something.

Crosley is an American company – they sell via their website and shipping to the UK is done by special request. Urban Outfitters and good old John Lewis also sell a small selection of Crosley turntables – it’s always more appealing to me to buy something for this sort of price that I can actually go in and have a look at.

There are now going to be 400 comments about how Crosleys are no good by music nerds.