I’m being asked a lot about UGGS at the moment. I’ve had at least five emails about them in the last three months, which comprises my entire Spike postbag (summer is slow).

Is there an alternative, I am asked. There must be! I know I must stop wearing my UGGs, but what can take their place?

I am astounded by this. There is nothing wrong with UGGs or UGG-style boots. Why would you feel like you have to stop wearing them?

I truly believe that the popularity and acceptance of UGGs is a thing of which the proto-feminist movement would be happy and proud. I have written before about how women will never let go of their skinny jeans, flat shoes, leggings and cross-body bags, now we’ve been granted them. They make life too easy. They’re too good. We’re not giving them up.

So it is with UGGs. They’re so lovely! They’re so warm! If you feel like you’re having a bit of a fat bum day they even out your beam so cleverly.

People who go about sneering “I’d never be caught dead in a pair of UGGs” probably don’t have to take the dog out in the freezing cold for a wee at 0630am then quickly make 8 packed lunches do 9 school runs, fetch the dry cleaning and then run back to the house to do a VAT return.

The same people who are snobby about UGGs are the same people who are snobby about Crocs. They just do it out of some inner insecurity about something. Probably that they are worried people will think they are working class or something. I have no time for them. I have no time for class issue stuff. So boring.

Okay, yes, there is an alternative to the UGG and it’s called the Mou boot – prices start at £189. But, do you know? It’s just an UGG-style boot, really – isn’t it? If you really want to move on from your UGGs then this is the only viable alternative.

Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 09.46.19
SJP auditioning for a part as a ghost

But I don’t see why you should. As long as your UGGs aren’t really shabby and dirty (and the fewer bells and whistles on them – buttons, laces, ribbons etc the better) you have my permission to wear them for as long as you damn want.

Personally, I’ve got my eye on a waterproof pair of UGG-style boots from that snuggly haven Celtic Sheepskin. I am not that in need of UGGs in my life, but I am tempted to buy them out of sheer cussedness. The haters can go to hell! With cold feet.

Screen Shot 2016-09-06 at 09.54.09
Aqualamb boots in darkest brown: £150