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Chubby sticks: £17 in store but I got this off Amazon for £14. I hope it’s not a fake one that will melt my lips off

I’ve decided that the answer to AW16 casual dressing might be grunge. Yes you heard me: GRUNGE. There’s a fair amount of it about and I think I might be really good at it this time round, being 13, chubby and skint last time around.

I’m starting with a brown lipstick, this Clinique chubby stick in Graped-Up. It looks much less brown on than in the stick, but still: it’s brown. Lara Flynn-Boyle – I’m coming for you.