Plunge Bralette £29. This is not me.
I gave up on underwired bras years ago. Terrible things, so uncomfortable. I replaced them swiftly with super-stretchy crop-tops, which give complete and seamless support. With all the bending and stretching, scampering, hefting and heavy-duty wiping and weeping that goes with small children, it was the practical choice.
But my kids are older now, and it’s not such a bun fight. When we go out locally we don’t take the buggy. I folded it up a few months ago to make space for something else and I just haven’t had to unfold it since. My kids tear ahead of me on scooter and balance bike, and I saunter along behind them, carrying my tote bag on one shoulder (which anyone can tell you is the mark of new-phase parenting – up until recently it’s been a cross-body bag or rucksack or you risk emptying all your shit on the ground as you bend over for the 4,000th time to do something. Also, try pushing a buggy with a shoulder bag. Doesn’t work).
So parenting isn’t quite the active task it used to be. But my underwear is still all really, really practical. Not all of it grubby and depressing, but some of it, yes, a bit discoloured I guess. And the other night as I was getting undressed for bed my husband looked up from where he was reading something (Twitter, probably) and said: “You could wear nice underwear, you know.”
Normally I would scream “FUCK YOU, FOUR-EYES!” and not speak to him for a month for saying something like that – but I didn’t. Because he’s right and he knows he’s right and I know he’s right. I could wear nice underwear.
If I get sick of the sight of my husband’s pants, for example, I simply buy him some new ones, which are to my liking. Ditto all of his clothes, his haircut, his swimwear, his shoes and his luggage. I’ll just get him something different and present it to him as a fait accompli and he takes it, wordlessly.
But he can’t do that to me. And he wouldn’t try because I’d be annoyed and, also, he is a true feminist where I fail (q.v.) If he were a girl Christ we’d all have to hide. He’d be outside Parliament with blood on his pants, screaming SEXIST FUCKER! at builders and stuff. We all ought to be grateful.
Anyway so he doesn’t tell me what to wear. He sometimes does a little pretend sick at some of my more directional shoes, (“Do you need me to rescue you from those things that have attached themselves to your feet?”), but mainly keeps quiet.
And I’m grateful for that. So when I wandered past a Victoria’s Secret the other day, I went in. I do sort of think that Victoria’s Secret, particularly that ghastly bra-and-knicker catwalk show they do, is maybe the root of all evil. Even that the stores are possibly active hell mouths. But I have had luck in VS before and really couldn’t face the sucked-in Dignitas air of the M&S or John Lewis lingerie department. (See? Shit Feminist.)
And I found a good thing, which is this wireless plunge “bralette” (sad emotion face), which was really actually not uncomfortable, so I bought three and the matching pants and to hell with it.
I am a C-cup and got these in M and one in an S, which fits if you let the catch at the back all the way out. I can’t imagine you’d want to wear one of these for long if you’ve got really seriously massive tits and normally have to wear bras made especially for you by NASA, (we’ve all been there), but for a C cup or under, they are a terrific mid-ground between the sexless sports bra and the padded plunge underwired torture device.
I breastfed for a ridiculously long time so was always in a nursing horror, and then did same as you and stayed wireless for comfort. I’ve recently gone back to under wired ‘nice’ underwear and my husband’s gratitude is palpable. He is too scared of me to ever have mentioned anything but now follows me around like Pepe Le Pew whatever awful t shirt I’m wearing so I’m guessing it’s made a difference.
must say my reluctance to go back to nice underwear has partly been that my husband might go INSANE with sex-starved lust and it would be annoying
My boys just turned 2, and I went to LA with work for a week and stocked up on pretty VS stuff whilst there – a life-affirming trip in more ways than one, as you can imagine – felt like the old me again (for a week)
Having worn cheap sports bras for 5 years due to a sore muscle injury in my back exacerbated by underwire I’m definitely going to try these beauties! Love the opal colour! 😍 Ps. Speaking of four-eyes I had a strong prescription like Giles (thick glasses and constantly sore, dry contact lens eyes) and just got laser a month ago with an amazing bloke – Dan Reinstein on Harley St. Had been refused laser twice before due to high script and big pupils but he’s a miracle-worker. I know I’m going off-piste but I’ve gone a bit evangelical when I see others as blind as I was!! If he ever considers it Dan is the laser guru! I got blended vision so distance was corrected and don’t need readers either. Still weeping with joy each morning, took 20 secs each eye and didn’t hurt AT ALL.
yes Giles had his eyes layered and they fucked it up so he still has to wear glasses sometimes. poor giles. he was so traumatised by the procedure that he won’t hear of going to have it re-done
The underwear binary need not be M&S / JL —-> Victoria’s Secret.
Get yourself to Stella McCartney, Eres, Bodas, Damaris, Araks, Hanky Panky (Vom name but lovely bras), Bass Range, WomensSecret.com (Spanish, affordable), Huit, Ayten Gasson, Kriss Soonik (a pompom between the breasts will make you laugh if nothing else).
All of these do soft cup, sporty, American sportswear luxe etc etc etc
Underwear shopping is the worst. But I have discovered the VS wireless bras that are pretty, supportive, give a nice shape and are a bit longer in the body to cover up that first tummy roll that appears under wired bras. I took a risk ordering from the US but I was swept up by a recommendation from the blog un-fancy.com – I’m such a sheep, but it worked out perfectly. Hallelujah!
Please hand wash – it really makes a difference! And if you have time for a shower, you have time to wash your pretty undies! 😘
Oh shit lady, sorry about his eyes – fair play, it’s scary enough having it done once…
Go to Rigby and Peller – it’s a bit disconcerting when you first go (the lady basically gets you to stand in front of her topless then she brings something that she thinks will fit / suit you) but their stuff is nice and it’s done a lot for my backache.
I HATE rigby and peller, went in once never again. ghastly. sorry 🙁
You need to buy a Standard Drawers bra. They are the best. And even work for my D cups!
You speak of this time when children are less frightful and you can use bags and bras that are less frightful. But when, when, WHEN does it come? Our eldest is three years and our youngest is 20 months and I can’t even fathom an outing with everyone not contained in a buggy.
It comes when your youngest is 3. It inches forwards in tiny increments up until then. I’d say you’re probably in the worst, shittiest bit – everyone is a fucker, no-one can do anything independently, no-one is at bloody school. Awful. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, crawl hand over hand from now until bedtime. It’s not YOU. It’s them. It’s it.
Oh these look good. Have been considering the need for new underwear ever since I read an article (by your sister in law, coincidentally) about how everyone only has three grey bras they wear in rotation and thinking, oops, yep that’s me.