Being as I am a veteran of newspapers and magazines, the onslaught of detox, get-fit-for January pieces are such a horrible inevitable cliche that it makes me want to shut my hand in a door.
And yet, if anyone ought to be reading them, it’s me. I fell full foul of the Christmas all-you-can-eat bonanza. All that booze, too. No exercise. Fresh air, but not enough. Dark afternoons. I am spotty and grey with lines like tide marks under my eyes, round my mouth. Every morning in the mirror I’m like “Who is that old woman wearing my pyjamas?” My jeans are operating at maximum capacity.
But I know better than anyone that an about-turn is never the way to sort out one’s life or weight. Not that I know how much weight I’ve put on as I am too scared to look. One has to back quietly away from a fortnight of drinking and eating everything in sight rather than screaming “I’M LEAVING” in its face.
Plus I always worry slightly that a period of excessive drinking changes my DNA to the critical point of dependence, whereby if I was to stop drinking entirely I might have a stroke.
I know what it is that I have to do in order to get back to normal, it’s just a question of settling back into that zone, the white-fish-and-greens dinner, no-drinking-during-the-day routine. And getting those kids back in school, who send me screaming to the treat tin at around 3.30pm and screaming towards the Zinfandel at around 7.05pm.
Meanwhile, here are some pictures of spring flowers to get you in the mood for the new year. I am not a fascist about taking Christmas decorations down – but I insist that when I do take them down, ( January 3rd or thereabouts), they are immediately replaced with fresh flowers, otherwise it’s just too sad.
Isn’t it funny that when you’re in the zone, healthy eating is so easy and when you’re not, cake slips down barely noticed or acknowledged! Happy new year. Xx
Right on the button as always Esther. Flowers are a great idea – much needed excellent tip!
Hurrah you are back! I too ate my body weight in Austrian cake and filled my boots with alcohol until I now have an overhang over my C section scars. NICE. But hell, January s depressing enough without booze – so what to do? If you have a diet solution – please share. Breakfasts being the hardest to do sans bread… I thank you.
Louise McKechnie says
Thanks again Esther, for a great idea – somehow I hadn’t thought about buying fresh flowers to make the post-merriment period feel a little lighter. Going to do that tomorrow. Whilst working out how to entertain my two year old for a straight 12 hours a day now that my 6 year old is going back to school tomorrow….cripes.
Very sensible, as per. I will get back to normal just as soon as there’s no more Christmas cake left, which at this rate will be very soon! And I agree about flowers: have placed a vase of white lilies from Ocado on the table in the bay window where the tree used to be. Happy New Year.
We hid all the leftover booze and chocolates in a high up cupboard in an attempt to do dry bloody stupid cliche January which we have never attempted before. We thought we would give it a go as we were feeling hugely hungover, liver damaged, fat and mildly depressed on New Years Day. Im proud to say we lasted about 24 hours after feeling suicidal when we took down the decs on the 2nd Jan. Maybe I should have bought flowers. I sought out the said cupboard at a time Im not prepared to admit to to open some warm prosecco and caught my husband drinking a large glass of red. We have been back on the wine every night ever since. Totally agree Jan is the most stupid of months to give up anything. But would love some recipes for using up leftover half drunk bottles of Prosecco/Cava if anyone has any. HNY everyone X
I did get on the scales and was shocked to find I’d lost weight – from the sheer mania of entertaining all week (though give me a few days and I’ll be attributing it to something terminal) I consumed so many calories but perhaps, as I’ve always suspected, they don’t count if you consume them standing anxiously with your head inside a cupboard or fridge. My skin is terrible though. But my bones will be thanking me for all that cheese come the menopause. You are so right about the flowers, a dying poinsettia just isn’t the ticket. Happy New Year xx
Yes in fact I haven’t put on as much weight as I thought – though I haven’t LOST any. but yes my skin! omg… my skin…
This makes me very glad to be in Australian…The post-Christmas and New Years period is less of a come down with warm, sunny weather. However, my husband and I couldn’t even stay up for the 9:30 fireworks and the Moet we had in the fridge as we were too tired! Happy New Year Esther and fellow Spikettes!
These are all good points. My son doesn’t go back to school until next Tuesday so I think I’m still in Christmas zone until then.