I have come to the conclusion that the only eye cream that makes any difference that I can see is Lansinoh. Amalgamating all the things I’ve read about eye cream (though it’s all just such rank bullshit) it seems that general eye tiredness, puffiness, dark circles and so on is mostly – not totally but mostly – dehydration.

So if one is to take advantage of the quiet January hibernation pact with fellow road-travellers a way to wake up with better eyes is to do this: go to bed at a reasonable hour, having had not more than one glass of wine, drink a glass of water, take your make up off, apply night face cream then Lansinoh around your eyes. In the morning you will not look like Karlie Kloss, but you will look better than if you had not done it.

To maximise the effect of all your various unguents, wash your face and apply these creams about an hour before you go to bed, so’s not to have to try to get to sleep with a sticky face.

You will now all tell me that this or that amazing cream is amazing for eyes. And that’s all very well but the fact is that I doubt they are appreciably better than Lansinoh, and it is only £7. Eight-Hour Cream also works – and we’ve all got a tube of that somewhere.