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It seems at the moment trends can be picked and forecasted just by imagining the things from the 80s and early 90s that you never imagined, even in your wildest dreams, could make a comeback: slip dresses over t-shirts, silky green bomber jackets, scrunchies… white shoes…

Particularly the white shoes – their strong, cliched association with general horrifying slaggery is overpowering and persistent. One can imagine arriving at a party in them and people falling about laughing.

But white shoes will be a big thing this Spring/Summer and into Autum this whole year. If you were to buy a pair now you would not be disappointed. People would initially look at you like “Wah?” but you simply have to turn your nose up at them and say “You know nothing about fashion.” And then suddenly they will be absolutely everywhere and everyone will be wearing them and those “Wah?” people will be like “OMG she was wearing them months ago.”

Behold this really good pair from Uterque (please just imagine the umlaut there) – £95.

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OR H&M are doing a sort of Celine copy for £24.99. Simple prejudice leads me to believe that the H&M shoes will be little other than blistering heel-shredders, but that possibly really is just prejudice.

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Anyway, stagger back in horror, eyes bleeding if you like – but Alexandra Shulman was wearing a pair with a full-skirted black and white gingham shirtdress on the Vogue documentary a few months ago, and we are about a calendar year behind her, so buy a pair of white shoes now (or drag an old pair out of your cupboard) and you will untouchably now. And what’s more important than that, eh? Eh? (Don’t answer that.)