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White shoes

screen-shot-2017-01-19-at-09-44-40

It seems at the moment trends can be picked and forecasted just by imagining the things from the 80s and early 90s that you never imagined, even in your wildest dreams, could make a comeback: slip dresses over t-shirts, silky green bomber jackets, scrunchies… white shoes…

Particularly the white shoes – their strong, cliched association with general horrifying slaggery is overpowering and persistent. One can imagine arriving at a party in them and people falling about laughing.

But white shoes will be a big thing this Spring/Summer and into Autum this whole year. If you were to buy a pair now you would not be disappointed. People would initially look at you like “Wah?” but you simply have to turn your nose up at them and say “You know nothing about fashion.” And then suddenly they will be absolutely everywhere and everyone will be wearing them and those “Wah?” people will be like “OMG she was wearing them months ago.”

Behold this really good pair from Uterque (please just imagine the umlaut there) – £95.

screen-shot-2017-01-19-at-09-32-47

OR H&M are doing a sort of Celine copy for £24.99. Simple prejudice leads me to believe that the H&M shoes will be little other than blistering heel-shredders, but that possibly really is just prejudice.

screen-shot-2017-01-19-at-09-37-55

Anyway, stagger back in horror, eyes bleeding if you like – but Alexandra Shulman was wearing a pair with a full-skirted black and white gingham shirtdress on the Vogue documentary a few months ago, and we are about a calendar year behind her, so buy a pair of white shoes now (or drag an old pair out of your cupboard) and you will untouchably now. And what’s more important than that, eh? Eh? (Don’t answer that.)

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Comments

  1. Sharon Spencer says

    January 19, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    My husband bought a pair of white shoes (for himself, to be clear) for our wedding in 1986. I can tell you that contrary to popular belief they weren’t fashionable then. He looked rather ridiculous frankly on the day and more so when we look at the photos now. So, my advice is wear white shoes if you must, but don’t take any photos of yourself in them.

    Reply
  2. Flora40 says

    January 19, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Oh goodness. That made me laugh but somehow white shoes are starting to feel “right”. Scary.

    Reply
  3. Kristy says

    January 19, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Lordy, the scrunchies. I’ve seen them appearing back in the shops in the past 6 months and I just WILL NOT go back to the 80s again. Oh, and have you seen the shit show in Laura Ashley at the mo? There’s a floral corduroy mini pinafore worn over a pie frill collar shirt. For an adult. I can’t even.

    Reply
  4. Cindy says

    January 19, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    Yes if you look at teenagers on any high street now it could be the 1980s. Stonewash, the lot. I will be giving this a skip, though they do look nice in the picture. I am from Essex and my name is Cindy. Life is tough enough and I have heard ALL THE JOKES already.

    Reply
  5. Rebecca says

    January 19, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    I LOVE THIS. all of it. but particularly ‘you know nothing about fashion’. xx

    Reply
  6. themumandthemom says

    January 19, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Oh god I’m actually quite keen on these!

    Reply
  7. Sarah says

    January 19, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    NEVER!!!

    Reply
  8. Sharon says

    January 19, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    My name is Sharon and I am from Essex………………..just no, really……….no…………..visions of girls dancing around their handbags in Basildon nightclubs, in neon white stilettos……………no!

    Reply
  9. Jules Magee says

    January 20, 2017 at 10:47 am

    Esther you should try H and M shoes, leave the prejudice behind! I promise there are some hidden gems lying about – me and most of my friends snapped up the navy velvet chelsea boots (£30!!) and everyone thinks they are Penelope Chilvers and currently am wearing ankle fur lined flat black suede boots (£50) which I bought just after christmas when it turned so cold (I have an aversion to uggs) and genuinely 3 people asked me if they are Isabel Marant, So worth a look although agreed their fake leather white jobs may not be the ticket …..x

    Reply
  10. Miss East says

    January 20, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    I bought a pair of white and electric blue courts from Topshop about 4 years ago (electric blue suede with white leather front and heel.) I called them my trash shoes and wore them to ‘edge up’ a navy-blue lace dress for a friend’s wedding. I stand by them.

    Reply
  11. Jill Brennan says

    January 20, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Flashback to being in a nightclub with white heels on. I fear I’m too old now..

    Reply
  12. kpcunningham says

    January 21, 2017 at 8:33 am

    You can’t wear white shoes after Labor Day, though! I have no idea when this is but I remember this sage advice from John Waters’ ‘Serial Mom’.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 23, 2017 at 10:52 am

      Ha ha! You’re not supposed to wear ANYTHING white after Labor Day – that’s just to stop ladies from refusing to give up on summer when it’s clearly Autumn.These shoes are FOR spring summer. But I appreciate the comment anyway, always makes me laugh x

      Reply
  13. Linda1746 says

    January 24, 2017 at 12:22 am

    No just no. And I remember them first time round and successfully avoided them by being into Iron Maiden ……..

    Reply
  14. BY says

    January 25, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    OMG, Alexandra Shulman steps down.. could this be the white shoes?

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      January 26, 2017 at 8:55 am

      I KNOW. I can’t believe it.

      Reply
  15. melbournista says

    February 4, 2017 at 5:00 am

    The only white shoes allowed should be pristine Supergas or equivalent…

    Reply

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