So obviously you have chosen and booked your summer holidays by now, seeing as it’s nearly the end of February. What do you mean you haven’t?? Get on with it!!!

And then once you’ve done that you can concentrate on what the hell you are going to WEAR. Don’t, please, ask me about bikinis or swimwear. It’s all just totally fucked-up and impossible to find a nice swimsuit, as far as I can see. I am quite pleased with my blue and white Heidi Klein swimmers, I suppose, but God: at what cost!

What I really want to say, or beg you rather, is not to buy a massive floaty white kaftan covered in neon tassels or pompoms. I can confirm that a) we all look horrible in them, like stupid albino bats and b) they are suddenly just totally passé, they are the sarong of 2017.

In fact, dodge neon altogether, it’s gone over to bad.

Look instead this year, when you are doing your summer holiday clothes shop, for light blue, pink and pale yellow.

Replace your giant kaftan with anything that looks like a shirt – like this one from Solid and Stiped but even longer if possible:

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This one is particularly nice from J Crew:

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If you insist on having something kaftan-y consider this sort of thing, again from J Crew. Beautiful… and no neon in sight.

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Then for evening wear, something new perhaps. I was just in Oman over half term (do not be envious, it rained almost continuously) and saw two women wearing really terrific outfits. The first was a lovely white broderie anglaise dress with sleeves and a full skirt to the knee. I really feel like I’ve seen it before: Isabel Marant Etoile? – but cannot find actual evidence online.

The other was a pale pink palazzo trouser with a short white lace top on. Really, really pretty – although I fear you do have to have quite a flat tummy to get away with it.

These are fun, from Anthropologie

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Or these, from asos.com:

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At night also white broderie dress lady had put her hair in a ponytail and was wearing some dramatic earrings and looked brilliant. I am a bit scared of all these weird, geometric, “statement” earrings but in fact they look great on, very modern.

I like these, just for example:

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or these from Whistles:

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But the madder the better, really. There will be some crazy ones in the shops soon, I’m sure – with tassels and pompoms and all sorts of crazy shit. Don’t rule them out, is all I’m saying.

 

On the subject of trousers, I don’t really want to see anyone wearing these sort of tapered printed trousers this summer. They’ve had their moment, put them away for another time.

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