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Tan 2017

Last year I used Clarins’ impossibly-named Golden Glow Booster to dye my legs the requisite brown colour I regard as being socially acceptable. This year I have switched back to the St Tropez Gradual Tan mousse because… well, I’m actually wondering why.

The Clarins stuff was good, you add a few drops to your normal moisturiser, mix it in, spread it on, rub in and off you go. But there was something about the mixing in, the drops… it felt messy and unappealing by late August.

I recall thinking back fondly to the supremely user-friendliness of the St Tropez mousse. It is a white mousse that won’t stain your entire house brown, you can do it without needing gloves – (are you listening, James Read?) – and it dries in about half a minute and you can get dressed and scamper off.

So I went to Superdrug last week and bought myself a can and slapped it about with relish.

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 08.14.47

About £9

Of course, for times when you need brown legs RIGHT NOW because a few hundred people have died and so you suddenly get an invitation to the opening party for The Ned tonight, Lancome’s Flash bronzer for legs is good, although you have to be careful about brown rub-off and it smells pretty strong. It has tiny little gold sparkles in it, which is quite Seventies and rather now.

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 08.20.37

About £28

 

And I hear great things about Perfect Legs Skin Miracle, (which always makes me think of that bar in East London called Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes), from This Works. Anyone tried that? I think it gives you a brownish sheen immediately, which transforms into an actual chemical-reaction tan over time.

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 08.22.44

About £37, so it had BETTER be a freaking miracle…

 

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Comments

  1. Janet Neville says

    April 26, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Try the Sienna mousse you apply with a mitt. Brilliant!

    Reply
  2. notsurewhattowriteforthis says

    April 26, 2017 at 8:37 am

    I’ve used the this works…easy and streak free and really quite liked it although my husband – when I was mid application – looked puzzled and asked ‘why is your left leg jaundiced?’ Didn’t put me off it (too much) though…

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 26, 2017 at 11:42 am

      Husbands know absolutely fuck all about anything

      Reply
  3. catherineingleby says

    April 26, 2017 at 9:13 am

    What you also really need is to use the Bioderma Photoderm Bronz suncream, which also gradually tans you… smells heaven too. Being a bit obsessed with suncream, have found this to be the BEST. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bioderma-Photoderm-Bronz-Spray-200ml/dp/B0043DVS0Q/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1493194357&sr=8-1&keywords=bioderma+bronz+30

    Reply
  4. Elaine says

    April 26, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Don’t waste your £37 or your time on the perfect legs stuff, it’s rubbish. I bought some a few years ago. Hard to use, streaky etc and a not very natural colour/ look. Hated it. Elaine x

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 26, 2017 at 11:43 am

      No no Elaine, say what you really think xxx

      Reply
  5. C says

    April 26, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    I know it’s boringly retro but sally Hanson legs always worked well for me. It’s not permanent but will last until you actively scrub it off. Just spray some down each leg and rub in manically. Plus it’s really cheap. But make sure you get the light one!!! Xx

    Reply
  6. Emily says

    April 26, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    I liked the effects and foolproofness of that San Tropez one you use in the shower. Though I didn’t much like standing naked and shivering in the shower for 3 minutes while it worked. So I mostly just used this, which is wonderful, but pongs a bit: https://us.caudalie.com/divine-legs.html

    Reply
  7. Emily says

    April 26, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    I mean…standing shivering with the shower turned OFF while you wait for it to work….

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 26, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      I know it feels weird and wrong doesn’t it

      Reply
  8. Katie says

    April 26, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Here in the US where I now live, everyone seems to use this weird Sally Hansen leg make up thing (no one wears tights, it’s the equivalent of wearing a coat on a night out in the winter in Leeds). I tried it last summer and actually.. it was pretty good.

    Reply
  9. Sharon says

    April 26, 2017 at 8:30 pm

    Every summer I thank the Gods that I am of West Indian stock, a lovely brown all the year round and don’t have to shave my legs because all the hair has been worn away by 40 years of wearing jeans/trousers!

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 27, 2017 at 9:30 am

      Sharon I do envy you. I have a friend who is half Greek and if I were her I would be lying flat out in the sun whenever possible, going mahogany – she refuses! lives in the shade! madness.

      Reply
      • Sharon says

        April 27, 2017 at 9:09 pm

        I have to say that I don’t seek out the sun, I ALWAYS wear sunglasses, even in the gloom, (which is a lot of the time in the north-east Highlands), don’t expose much skin and stay the shade when it gets too hot……………..my mum and dad grew up in Antigua and people always stayed out of the sun, sun-bathing just wasn’t a thing

        Reply
  10. Charlotte Cotteriĺl says

    April 26, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    I didn’t like Perfect Legs either, it’s just okay and it certainly doesn’t warrant the price tag. I find it puzzling how often it gets recommended. Too many beauty journalists are not that thorough in their research in my view.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 27, 2017 at 9:31 am

      Charlotte you are not the first person to say this, but it’s recommended to me by lots of non-journalists as well. I think it possibly doesn’t agree with everyone or something? It’s a puzzle.

      Reply
  11. themumandthemom says

    April 26, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    V much agree on the don’t bother with the This Works perfect legs: as a measure of my disappointment, I threw away a nearly-full bottle when we moved house because I just couldn’t be bothered to pack it even though we had removals people doing the packing for us.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 27, 2017 at 9:31 am

      That is a damning critique

      Reply
  12. Karen Nicholson says

    April 27, 2017 at 12:01 am

    Yep, Perfect Legs Skin Miracle really is a marvel, especially on cod white April legs. And it’s a massive bottle so it lasts for ages. Up there with the equally miraculous Ameliorate products for bumpy skin on arms.

    Reply

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