These are not my feet
It started at the end of the last hot spell we had (not as hot as this one). I took all the nail varnish on my toes off. And I just didn’t put it back on. And I think I’m probably not going to for the rest of the summer.
I don’t mean I’m going for Hobbit feet. I don’t mean that I’m just going to let my toenails grow yellow and curly, see how groady the rough bits of my feet can get, I just mean I’m not painting my toenails any more. Not sure how long for – maybe the rest of this summer, maybe the rest of my life?
I’ve always loved painting my toenails. Before I watched telly while messing about on my laptop, I watched telly while painting my toenails. The ritual of it… it would take ages. The soaking, the dabbing, the massage, the filing, the bottom coat – really letting it dry – and then the shiny laquer. The new toes, the new feet. The feeling that if your toes were twinkly, neat and lovely then life must be under control.
But now having to paint my toenails has become something else – a tedious chore for me or an hour sitting about while someone else does it when I could be doing other things.
I don’t want gel because that stuff is freaking monstrous – you basically have to hack your toes off to remove it – and a normal pedicure is just another ticking cosmetic time bomb, like fake tan (can I push it for another day??)
There’s something else going on, too. When I was about 27 I decided for a while to stop wearing eye make-up because I realised that I hadn’t actually seen myself without my eyeliner and mascara on for about 10 years. I had grown to assume without questioning it that I was a hideous monster without my eyes done and that felt wrong and frightening. Was it possible to feel pretty without effectively drawing a face on?
It was time to get to know my own face again. So I went without eye liner or mascara for a few weeks – I did the rest of my face as normal, just no eye make-up. And it was incredibly freeing. And, yes, I felt pretty enough.
And I think recently the same is true of my feet. I’m not kidding myself that I have these beautiful feet but I have not let them see the light of day without nail varnish for years. And in fact, if you look after your feet properly – they actually look rather sweet and appealing unpainted.
But you do have to look after them. That means a light brush with a foot file once a day – not too hard because that encourages cracks – and keeping nails neat and tidy.
I also use Vaseline intensive care hand and nail cream on my feet at night – it absorbs in really well so that you don’t have infuriatingly slimy feet all night. I find that most for-feet creams are hellishly thick and horrible, as if your feet were some kind of vile medical anomaly for which only goose fat will do as an emollient.
Sally Hansen’s cuticle oil stops emergent Hobbit feet.
If I’m actually invited to a very smart party I will concede to paint my toenails with clear varnish, but that will be it.
The revolution starts here ladies.
Funnily enough I decided precisely the same thing about a month ago, and am very pleased with my nice clean beachy toes. Also, ‘buffing’ Xx
Yes BUFFING
We have a fab chiropodist in my town, and it’s a great investment to go regularly in the summer months to keep them looking soft and clean. Definitely agree about the toenail polish, it’s such a waff!
Gosh I was thinking this only last night, A holiday in a couple of weeks will be the test. Almond oil is amazing for feet/hands/nails, Neals Yard do a great big 100ml bottle for about fifteen pounds. Sparkly toes all summer long!
It’s like a movement! Leandra Medine stopped straightening her hair too recently. All signs of a revolution.
Blimey, I’m a slob! I Look forward to my post summer trip down memory lane as I slowly remove layer after layer of different coloured polish. It’s like oh yeah red, I remember that was for so and so’s wedding, great party… My eyesight is so rubbish these days that I can barely see them down there and like to cling to the old ‘what you can’t see can’t hurt you’ thing. If they look too bad I’m sure my children would tell me… And I’m sure that the Quentin Crisp quote about dust only ever getting do thick applies to nail polish too.I do :wish to point out however that I do push my cuticles back in the shower and exfoliate my feet. I’m a lazy slob but I’m not an animal.
ha ha! a girl’s got to have standards xxx
I am of the same mind when it comes to toenails. I’ve got nail polish on mine just now, which rarely happens, and they just look a bit like…painted foot claws? I dunno. I really do prefer them looking natural.
I am a bit obsessed with foot care in general and my preferred products are:
Soap & Glory foot file. It is a very effective scrubby device with a pleasingly robust handle.
Scholl Velvet Smooth Express Pedi. The battery operated thing with the sandpaper cylinder bit. I resisted getting one of these for ages because my Mum has one, and generally the stuff she likes is shit. Also I don’t like to think of both of us, mother and daughter, in our separate bathrooms busily sanding down our trotters. But I was wrong and it is very good and leaves your feet feeling lovely. The roller does make a bit of an odd screeching sound, but you get used to it.
Flexitol Revitalising Nail Gel. This is great if you’ve been wearing nail polish for ages and your toenails have gone a horrible yellow colour. It’s basically peroxide gel in a little tube with a brush, kind of like the Touche Éclat pen. You just paint it on and leave it till it dries, and then your nails will miraculously be a nice healthy colour again.
Flexitol Platinum Heel Balm. This one is only really if you’ve totally neglected your feet over winter and have horrid
cracked heels. This fixes them up a treat and is much more effective than the normal Flexitol stuff. It is unpleasantly waxy and clammy though, so it’s best to use only a wee bit and wash your hands straight away.
Sorry – I’ve realised that this is an absolute essay on foot products. I’ve just eaten a huge Danish pastry and I think I might be on a sugar high.
No Leona this is fantastic! I see Spike blog posts only as a jumping-off point for interesting discussing in the comments box by my readers who are so often far more knowledgable than I am xx
This is pertinent – my 3 year old just asked to paint her toes like mine yesterday and it made me think as it’s the only thing I’m really attached to and – I mean it doesn’t matter if she wanted to play painting her nails but still… I didn’t like the idea of anything like that being seen as a necessity for a girl.
My mum never wore make up when I was growing up and as a result I could take it or leave it, but in recent times I’ve got into a routine of relying on it to make myself feel less shit when tired/anaemia, which I’ve scaled back as I’m aware I’m being watched. It’s a relief to just stop sometimes and realise you don’t need it. I feel prettier without once I get used to it.
Alicia Keys has been make up free for a year and she looks stunning. It’s crazy that it was even a thing she had to make a big statement about. Now everyone can’t be Alicia Keys but I genuinely think no woman needs it and should only wear it if it gives her pleasure to.
Oh I am the same – I am 26 weeks pregnant and haven’t painted my toenails for months and I keep thinking “I really *ought* to paint my toenails before I can no longer do it”, but I still can’t bring myself to – they look quite nice all natural now the yellowy post-varnish bits have grown out. I keep finding I have better things to do with my time so hang it, natural nails for me for a while!
has anyone tried those skin dissolving socks you can buy – the ones where you peel off strips of skin about a week after wearing them? Footners? I keep picking them up in Boots and then putting them back again.
Jesus Christ Emily these sound terrible!!!
but…but..they promise so much!
I have tried the Footner socks, Emily! They have rave reviews from other people, and I was SO looking forward to excavating and inspecting massive lumps of foot skin. Unfortunately it didn’t really work for me and only a very thin layer came off, which made me sad. I thought it would be like peeling an onion, but it was more like when you were in school and put PVA glue on your hand.
I don’t have time for the faff of painting nails. Babies strike again! Luckily, I prefer nude shiny nails.
Find Newtons Chiropody sponge to be a genius product. That and a buffer.
Me too! I am liking my bare nails except…I put on some of the clear Dior stuff (Glow something or other) because I cannot go bare in Birkenstocks – too much German Geography teacher for me at this stage in my lfe.
But yes to daily filing, almond oil (great to put a smidgin on ends of hair too about an hour before wash, and cheaper in the ethnic section of Tesco) and hand cream before bed. Looking too ‘done’ is becoming a bit ‘Melania’ I feel… but that could be me slinking into old age.
The next stage is not to shave your legs. Now that is liberation!
I came on here to recommend the exact same four products that Leona has already mentioned. Excited to have a foot-care twin! Yes, I agree, the Scholl thing screeches a bit, but makes a very satisfying pile of foot-dust. I’ve just ordered a replacement sander-bit for mine from Amazon, labelled ‘extra-coarse’. I’ll be a whole foot-size smaller once I’ve finished with that one…
My size nine bunion-ed up hooves need all the varnish they can get.
in that case – go for it x
Hi, I couldn’t help but notice your mention of size nines……..which makes me wonder where you buy shoes, I too am a size 9 (a good old fashioned size 9 usually equating to a 43 and mostly found in specialist shops…most nines I’ve seen on the high street seem to me to be more like eights..). At the moment i am heavily reliant on the marvellous Katie Long Shoes plus sometimes Ellie Dickins but if you know of others I would be delighted to hear of them..
I think I will be ordering those four products, too. I have bought so much great stuff through reading this blog – the pixi glow is amazing as is the superdrug hydrating serum. Also bought a ton of stuff for my toddler son as a result of your recommendations -thanks Esther!
No no Katie thank you for reading! xx
I really feel like I should enroll myself in some sort of foot care rehab after reading everyone’s replies… I even **briefly** looked at nourishing treatments in Superdrug today but then remembered that I live in Wales and despite this glorious weather we’ve been enjoying I will back in my wellies before I know it for the next 9 months or so. I am jealous of all the lovely tidy bare feet though that you must all be sporting!
come onnnn… do it!!!! look after your feet and they will look after you xxx
I have tried the Korean Foot Peel Masks (‘Oh K’ ones) and I was pleased with the result. I was expecting it to tackle hard skin on the heels which it does to a limited extent but what I found was that lots of skin rubbed off between the toes and around the nails (sorry a bit gross but just explaining) and after about 8 days, my feet felt and looked lovely like Esther’s. A word of warning though – it takes between 4-6 days to start peeling and for a few days your feet will look a right mess – you need to give yourself 14 days if going on holiday. I hope they don’t discover that the ingredients do some terrible potential harm because this is a product that seems bring noticeable results.
I have quite nice feet for a woman of 53, I’m the opposite, I go through life with unpainted toes and once every 5 years or so I get them painted, then spend 3 weeks admiring how pretty they are and wondering why I don’t do this regularly. I try and keep them under control in the shower, (good going over with the japanese washing cloth), pedi-egg the heels and vasaline all over. My little toe nails are truly hideous though, dark and really thick, I hope I don’t take after my dad, he used to cut all his toe nails with a stanley knife!
Sharon Amen to the hideous little toe – I’ve got those too!
Hi Esther, just started following you and I am really enjoying the topics you cover and your writing style.
This is a very timely discussion, as I’m at home having had ingrowing toenails removed this morning from both big toes (both sides)! Sexy lady.
Going to binge on some of your old posts while I have my feet up in recovery!
OMG! there but for the grace of god go all of us I reckon babe. Enjoy old posts! And welcome! xxxx
I am thinking of doing this as well- on a friend’s recommendation I have booked a medical pedicure at Margaret Dabbs which apparently leaves your feet looking fabulous.
I am sure that when I was a teen (decades ago) having coloured polish on your toes was quite a weird thing to do- am sure I remember reading in J17 that it was “just for fancy dress parties”, sob. Now I feel a slob without polish on. BUt what could be nicer than lovely brown toes and natural nails?
well exactly!