The Spike

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(Sorry one last thing…)

The Boden catalogue arrived and I was just going to have a huge bitch through it on my Stories, but then I actually read through it and, you know, there are some really great pieces in there.

I tend to have very little time for Boden with it’s mad prints and every goddamn thing coming with a tie waist, so it must be good if it has overcome my natural massive aversion. I am breaking my school holidays silence because for whatever reason Boden always sells out really fast so I want to alert you to the good stuff now.

Here are my favourites:

Love everything about this outfit, particularly the very now red-and-pink clashing skirt:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 18.55.13

Fabulous print on this top:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 18.56.36

And in another colourway on this dress:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 18.57.30

I have a couple of cream-coloured silky sleeveless shirts like this and they are incredibly useful in the summer:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 18.58.52

In case you don’t have a pair of bright white sneakers for this SS:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 19.00.57

You can never have too much navy:

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 19.02.11

I really love this, with the gold button details and the side split. You could intimidate the shit out of some people in this sweater.

Screen Shot 2018-04-03 at 19.03.01

 

Talking of intimidation, I have discovered the most marvellous social tactical weapon and that is the ferocious grin. Never much of a smiler in my youth, I approached most social interactions with cynicism and fear, never smiled and wondered why things never went well.

Now I approach anyone with the most huge and terrifying grin, especially if I think things might go badly (“Can I and my two fighting children in our dirty and wet rain gear please use your loo?”) I just smile it out.

The other night I went out for a drink with fellow survivors of my post-graduate diploma, noch, in “journalism” and my otherwise sensitive and always correct friend Anthony Dhanendran had picked the most terrifying sweaty boozer – sweat dripping off the ceiling, ladies – in the City.

I edged my way to the bar, trying not to touch anything as I hadn’t yet had my Typhoid or Hepatitis A jabs for Kenya, and had to buy a round, (because boys don’t half whine like little bitches if you don’t), off a man with tattoos on his face.

So I just smiled in a genuinely aggressive way and he was in fact very helpful. He even helped me choose a really nice Sauvignon Blanc, saying unexpectedly: “That is a beautiful wine.” It’s possible that he would have been that nice had I not done all that smiling but… I don’t know… I think it works.

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« Bye for now
Kenya pt 1 »

Comments

  1. Colette O'Neill says

    April 3, 2018 at 6:39 pm

    Esther, you make me laugh so much!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Especially re the jabs!! 💉💉💉💉💉 and the intimidating jumper!

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:10 pm

      FILHTY FILTHY PUB COLETTE IT WAS DISGUSTIN

      Reply
      • Colette O'Neill says

        April 3, 2018 at 7:18 pm

        My husband brought me to the most MINGING pub around the corner from where we live in Bristol. I walked in and wretched immediately at the smell of the joint! Needless to say , I absconded instantly!!🤢🤢😷😷😷🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

        Reply
        • esthermcoren says

          April 3, 2018 at 7:19 pm

          wtaf is wrong with boys. they will sit in any old disgusting pub. rank. I hate pubs at the best of times

          Reply
      • Jo says

        April 4, 2018 at 10:07 am

        Yes my bf loves them too! Argh!! – Depford, New Cross (where we live) Whitechapel – he knows all the scuzziest pubs. If I have to go to one I.e. tricked into it in a group social situation, I NEVER visit the bathroom. You just know there will be no soup, a grotty hand dryer and a toilet chain that’s held on with duct tape. No thank you.

        I think he believes that the grottier a place is the more authentic and real it is.

        Reply
        • esthermcoren says

          April 4, 2018 at 12:06 pm

          deluded

          Reply
  2. Milly says

    April 3, 2018 at 6:48 pm

    I normally bin the mag straight in to the recycling but thought the same when I flicked through it tonight .. Love that skirt too and also thought some of the kaftan things looked decent 👏🏻

    Reply
  3. Alexandra says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    I’m right off Boden. I read a blog called Midlife Chic by a lovely lady called Nikki Garnett, who was the editor of Selfridges magazine. Boden refuse to respond to her as her followers aren’t who they are interested in … we are too old, apparently. Some other 40+ bloggers who follow Nikki say they’ve had the same response. So me and my blue rinse are off to Uniqlo.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:12 pm

      you’re missing out Alexandra xx

      Reply
  4. Laura says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:07 pm

    Smiling like that totally works. I always put on my best smile and say ‘I’m terrible sorry but do you think it might be possible…’ and almost always get my way. My husband thinks it is witchcraft but I’ve always believed that you can be as thick as you like in life but manners will get you a very long way.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:13 pm

      I smile until I think it might BREAK MY FACE

      Reply
  5. Elaine says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    I threw the boden catalogue straight in the bin this afternoon, declaring myself too young for boden (I’m 36 and deluded) might go fish it out again.
    I’ve been doing the smiling thing since I was a teenager. Works. A. Treat. Must try to be less exhausted and more smiley again. Elaine x

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:25 pm

      no no Elaine your first instincts were generally correct – but there is an unusual number of useful things in there RN

      Reply
  6. Cindy says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:26 pm

    I might try this. Smacked-arse face has been getting me nowhere, maybe distressed chimpanzee is where it’s at.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:29 pm

      yes precisely. though it FEELS like distressed chimpanzee but comes across as winning. it does!

      Reply
      • Cindy says

        April 4, 2018 at 12:35 pm

        My husband is a smiler (and has teeth that look like they were born in the USA which helps) and people always warm to him. I always try to smile when people take photographs. However self conscious you are, it’s always a better photo if you’re smiling.

        I love those navy trousers, in fact the whole look.

        Reply
  7. Lizzie says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    20% off and free delivery on Boden right now. Code K7C5. Not sure how long it will work for. It is working right now because I just ordered a couple of those sleeveless tops. They look smashing!

    Reply
    • textpatwives says

      April 5, 2018 at 11:40 am

      Thank you Lizzie! You just saved me £12… And totally agree with the other comment about Boden having the best kids’ clothes. I live in a climate where things randomly rot and fall apart and get mould growing on them. The usual crappy kids clothes – H&M, Primark etc – last about three washes. Boden? FABULOUS. Esp the swimwear. Lasts forever. (or until the little feckers grow out of them.)

      Reply
  8. Flora says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:27 pm

    Might get my Boden catalogue out of the recycling then. Oops. Too late. Bin day

    Reply
  9. Frances says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:41 pm

    Boden do hands-down the best children’s clothes. Their men’s jeans are great if you have a very tall bloke, and they’re not insane £££. I am 36 and slowly warming to the idea that amongst the god-awful patterned tunics, and miles of rouching there are some gems to be found. I bought some of their black “modern Mayfair skinny jeans” (not worn by anyone in Mayfair I’m sure) and they have a nice high waist, stay up, don’t sag, and don’t appear to be fading. Their plain t-shirts wear well too, as do their ballet flats. I think the trick might be to avoid the heavy patterns, especially in the dresses as they’re quite ageing, and not Capsule!

    Reply
    • Frances says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      p.s autocorrect has put apostrophes in wrong places I do apologise! *smiles enormous smile in manner of deranged person…

      Reply
  10. Kelly says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    I got my teeth fixed last year and have gone from vaguely smiling like Posh in the 90s to grinning like a loon everywhere I go. I swear people are nicer to me, especially in shops / bars / restaurants. I LOVE it.

    Reply
  11. Cathy B says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:06 pm

    100% with you on the smiling / killing with kindness and Boden RN. The great thing about them is their 365 day returns policy and 3 month refunds (even for sale stuff). I’m pretty Boden loyal but tend to stay clear of the ‘typical’ Boden prints. I love a lot of their stuff (and there is a LOT) and it doesn’t take long to get past the very obvs ‘look at me I’m wearing Boden’ pieces / Migraine combination prints. Their swimwear is excellent as is their kids sfuff. And their shoes and boots!
    The 20% code definitely works today. And that yellow jumper is gorgeous!

    Hope Easter hols are going well…!! Xxx

    Reply
  12. Alison says

    April 4, 2018 at 7:20 am

    Looking at the navy trousers (which I dont need), and seeing that they also come in khaki. Could these be be considered *capsule* Esther?

    I have a problem where I recognise Boden things on people and it puts me off buying anything too distinctive. Case in point is the skirt which is lovely, but I bet someone in my village will buy it. I have the same problem with Hush, especially the big slogan sweaters.

    Possibly this is only a problem because I spend too much time dicking around reading style blogs.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 4, 2018 at 7:44 am

      yup, navy chinos are super-capsule. I know what you mean, I rarely buy anything touted as THE piece of the season because I get sick of seeing it everywhere

      Reply
  13. Alex says

    April 4, 2018 at 8:26 am

    Hilarious! I too have discovered the power of the maniacal grin in the last month. I must have had a proper RBF because boy has my interactions with people changed. It’s amazing.

    Reply
  14. laurawelsh says

    April 4, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    I’ve just looked at the skirt as it looks so lovely on the girl in the photo but unfortunately its cotton and will crease like buggery the second you put it on. Such a shame as if it was polyester or similar it would be bloody brilliant. Typical Boden – nearly there but not quite.

    Reply
  15. Katie says

    April 4, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Oh, if only yellow were my colour, I could intimidate for England … especially as I subscribe to the theory that ‘sugar catches more flies than vinegar’ or, to quote Spike (see what I did there?) Milligan, ‘Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu’.

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 5, 2018 at 9:13 am

      Very neat Katie. I like it x

      Reply
  16. KP says

    April 7, 2018 at 11:49 am

    Oh FFS I threw that exact Boden skirt out about 2 years ago in lime green and purple because I was never going to wear it again. My whole life is Groundhog Day – Have you cleaned your teeth? Can you put your sweet wrappers in the bin? No not that bin, the other one! Must buy all the clothes I’ve seen on Instagram. How is it Monday AGAIN!? Sorry, I digress.

    Reply
    • KP says

      April 7, 2018 at 11:51 am

      Oh and yes, it does crease and is a bugger to iron.

      Reply
  17. Eleanor Goldman says

    April 7, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    Esther I have been doing this smiling thing for years! BUT – beware. Now people I actually dislike very much think that I am a really friendly, nice person. They couldn’t be more wrong and this has left me in some crap situations. Often 🙁

    Reply
  18. Lola Aragon says

    April 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    On a completely unrelated topic, Esther, have you left IG?!

    Reply
    • esthermcoren says

      April 17, 2018 at 8:10 am

      Hello! No… I just don’t post *that* regularly from holiday x

      Reply
      • lola says

        April 17, 2018 at 8:34 am

        I know, I understand that. It’s just that it seems your account has been deleted or something…

        Reply
        • esthermcoren says

          April 18, 2018 at 8:54 am

          oh no! no definitely not…

          Reply

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