I sat and bit my fist as those girls came off their game drive, I tell you. They looked amazing. I stared and stared at them and thought “Jesus, yes – that is what I wanted to wear on safari.”

I was dressed like Indiana Jones (I’m almost always dressed like either Indiana Jones or Eddie Murphy c.1986) in khaki trousers and a shirt. But I was too hot. It was HOT out there, guys. And I was too hot.

And then these girls came in and I went “WOW” and my husband said “Are you insane? They look like mad old green crows” and I said “You know nothing. They look fabulous.”

They were American. And they had known, as I hadn’t, that the echt footwear on safari is a pair of dusky Palladium boots. I was wearing trainers, which was fine but… And then they all wore voluminous loose khaki dresses, neck scarves, proper safari hats and little round sunglasses. They looked just fantastic. And not too hot.

I always defer to trousers in case I’m required to do anything, but on a game drive you are generally not even allowed out of the truck let alone required to do anything, so god yes… why not a lovely loose skirt?

I know the chances of you needing to pack for a safari right now are very small, but here are my recommends for a superb safari outfit – should you suddenly have a safari dressing emergency you might remember I wrote this and refer back.

Palladium bootseveryone wears these out there, not just glamorous American girls. Last time I was doing anything major in Africa I needed climbing boots but they are a bit full-on for a 2-day safari. These boots are just right.

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Loose green dress – these are kind of what I mean. You might have something already in your wardrobe, or spot something even better. It makes perfect sense. With shorts there is all the leg-admin and trousers are too bloody hot

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Marvellous Safari hat by Fjallraven – and also because a hat that you can roll up and pack is the only hat you will not lose on holiday (or be arsed to even take).

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Natty round sunglasses

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Neutral scarf – this one is from Zara

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We stayed at the Sassaab Lodge in Samburu and got there from Nairobi with Yellow Wings.

I am hugely tempted to go back just in order to be wearing the right clothes.

Any questions? Drop me a line.