Do you ever get that confident feeling that you have an item of clothing – but actually you don’t?
It happens to me all the time. I think I have got a button-through printed sundress, but I don’t. I think I’ve got a navy jumpsuit, but I don’t. I think I have got a long embroidered dress, but I don’t. I think I’ve got a long floaty beach dress but (altogether now) I DON’T.
I blame Instagram! I blame it for all of this. I look at other people wearing button through sundresses and navy jumpsuits and long embroidered dresses and I think it’s me. I think I’m looking at pictures of me in my clothes.
What? I never said I wasn’t crazy!
It’s also slightly that I might have versions of these things that don’t fit or that crease horribly as soon as you sneeze or require ludicrous underwear or somehow else don’t work.
So I went online and bought 4 things that I literally, genuinely – it turns out – don’t have in my wardrobe.
My main criteria was regarding underwear, in that you mustn’t need any thing mad or strapless or stick-on. None of these plunge alarmingly or ride up; they can all also be worn with either trainers or heels and are suitable for day or night and don’t need dry-cleaning.
Anyway they arrived and they are all massive successes, which is unusual for me, and I’m absolutely delighted. Over on Instagram TV there is a video of me wearing all of these clothes, but the models here wear them just fine, too.
1 Monsoon Margot lemon poplin dress. I love this crazy print. The very long length gets a bit of getting used to but once you’re “there” it’s a delight. Sizing is reasonably generous. I took an 8 in this and I am not an 8 in, say, TopShop. The corset is supportive enough that I didn’t need to wear a bra with this, but if I wanted to, it wouldn’t show.
2 Monsoon linen navy jumpsuit. Monsoon are having a brilliant season and I was astonished that this jumpsuit actually fit me (having dismissed jumpsuits as an item for other people without long back disease). Now I see why jumpsuit devotees feel that way. I feel smart and put-together in this in a way that I rarely do in my life. I also like the fact you can wear this for lunch with nice sandals or so some sort of really smart thing with a block-heeled sandal or a wedge. Sizing same as before – I am in an 8 but I am normally a 10.
3 It’s harder than you think to find a long, embroidered dress without stupid flappy annoying sleeves or a clashing print or made of teeth-setting-on-edge viscose, that isn’t slashed to the waist or drags on the ground. OR that doesn’t cost £40m. This one I saw on Asos and immediately loved although the keen price made me fret about its provenance. This was a 10 so I’d say take your normal size.
4 I think I have a long floaty beach dress, but in fact I don’t. I have some short beach dresses that I’ve worn for the last 3 years and are now all stained to shite and a long white cheesecloth shirt thing that has sleeves. But I have nothing jaunty, like this! It is from a brand called Aratta via Asos and is reassuringly expensive at £120. Not for town, of course, but for a proper beach or pool where the slightly mad colours and beads will come alive and look absolutely splendid. I took an S, which was pretty roomy – I’d say it would fit up to a small 12.