Do you ever get that confident feeling that you have an item of clothing – but actually you don’t?
It happens to me all the time. I think I have got a button-through printed sundress, but I don’t. I think I’ve got a navy jumpsuit, but I don’t. I think I have got a long embroidered dress, but I don’t. I think I’ve got a long floaty beach dress but (altogether now) I DON’T.
I blame Instagram! I blame it for all of this. I look at other people wearing button through sundresses and navy jumpsuits and long embroidered dresses and I think it’s me. I think I’m looking at pictures of me in my clothes.
What? I never said I wasn’t crazy!
It’s also slightly that I might have versions of these things that don’t fit or that crease horribly as soon as you sneeze or require ludicrous underwear or somehow else don’t work.
So I went online and bought 4 things that I literally, genuinely – it turns out – don’t have in my wardrobe.
My main criteria was regarding underwear, in that you mustn’t need any thing mad or strapless or stick-on. None of these plunge alarmingly or ride up; they can all also be worn with either trainers or heels and are suitable for day or night and don’t need dry-cleaning.
Anyway they arrived and they are all massive successes, which is unusual for me, and I’m absolutely delighted. Over on Instagram TV there is a video of me wearing all of these clothes, but the models here wear them just fine, too.
1 Monsoon Margot lemon poplin dress. I love this crazy print. The very long length gets a bit of getting used to but once you’re “there” it’s a delight. Sizing is reasonably generous. I took an 8 in this and I am not an 8 in, say, TopShop. The corset is supportive enough that I didn’t need to wear a bra with this, but if I wanted to, it wouldn’t show.
2 Monsoon linen navy jumpsuit. Monsoon are having a brilliant season and I was astonished that this jumpsuit actually fit me (having dismissed jumpsuits as an item for other people without long back disease). Now I see why jumpsuit devotees feel that way. I feel smart and put-together in this in a way that I rarely do in my life. I also like the fact you can wear this for lunch with nice sandals or so some sort of really smart thing with a block-heeled sandal or a wedge. Sizing same as before – I am in an 8 but I am normally a 10.
3 It’s harder than you think to find a long, embroidered dress without stupid flappy annoying sleeves or a clashing print or made of teeth-setting-on-edge viscose, that isn’t slashed to the waist or drags on the ground. OR that doesn’t cost £40m. This one I saw on Asos and immediately loved although the keen price made me fret about its provenance. This was a 10 so I’d say take your normal size.
4 I think I have a long floaty beach dress, but in fact I don’t. I have some short beach dresses that I’ve worn for the last 3 years and are now all stained to shite and a long white cheesecloth shirt thing that has sleeves. But I have nothing jaunty, like this! It is from a brand called Aratta via Asos and is reassuringly expensive at £120. Not for town, of course, but for a proper beach or pool where the slightly mad colours and beads will come alive and look absolutely splendid. I took an S, which was pretty roomy – I’d say it would fit up to a small 12.
You look fab in all of them. Really like the Monsoon stuff. I am a bit set on sleeves, not because I hate my arms … although actually, maybe I do. I like the tropical dress especially but I have many freckles, so too much pattern on me can look as though I am attempting some sort of jungle camo effect.
God I didn’t consider that! I am very much doing a jungle cameo then as I am COVERED in freckles xxx
Typically my local Monsoon shut 6 months ago … I read the title of your vid and was like, Jumpsuit Frumpsuit, not interested in that, but you are really selling it. I mean, I’m seriously considering actually ordering this. Don’t tell her, but Giselle is a bit of a one-trick pony … Esther ‘Navy Steel’ Coren ftw!
It’s a great one! I agree, I’m not crazy about jumpsuits but this one is really super. I’m totally addicted to my new video editing app, InShot, it’s v v easy to use and fun to edit videos together. I’m not sponsored by them!
OMG I don’t have any of these things either! Love the ASOS dress and the jumpsuit the most x
They’re both VG
Talking of navy jumpsuits, I’ve just bought this:
https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-lace-sleeveless-jumpsuit-406131.html
Really cute (but not too cute for a 44-year-old unless I’m delusional) and comfy. And pockets!
Jumpsuit out of stock in 10 &12! Have ordered the ASOS dress as your other recommendations (Lotta clogs & another ASOS dress) have been big successes. Thanks Esther!
No! FFS. good you snagged the other dress tho. when asos is on the money it’s vg
Re the ASOS dress, is it terribly sheer? I’m thinking it might need special undies – is that the case? Otherwise, I love it!
No not sheer at all! I mean probably can’t wear actual solid black pants but a comfy pair of fleshies are fine xxx
I got this dress and I agree it does need nude underwear (IMO)
Ordered the jumpsuit, fingers crossed!!
Thank you so much for this post. I LOVE the ASOS dress and immediately ordered it! I got two sizes and oddly they’ve both got faint white patches down the back. One’s worse than the other (luckily the one that fits me better is not so bad) and it looks like either an issue with the dyeing process or maybe the cardboard it was folded round in the packaging. I was just wondering if you’d had any issues with yours? Am loathe to return for an exchange if it’s just going to be the same issue again!
OMG no!!! mine was perfect! And I’ve had a million compliments on it. That is so weird. But I once ordered a dress from Net A Porter that had weird faint stains all over it and that’s Net A Porter! So I think these things happen
I’ve just looked at mine (got it yesterday) and it has these white marks too. I hadn’t noticed them before. Not sure if they’re a deal breaker!
Zoe this is awful! I will write to Asos
omg this is awful – I will write to Asos now
I ordered the Asos dress too, in 2 sizes and both had stitching faults, one on the arm seam and the other on the embroidery around the front. White marks on the back of the one received today too. Both have to go back, such a shame as really lovely otherwise. I suppose for the price maybe the quality is not so good.
Kathryn this is a nightmare! Mine was totally fine. I have written to Asos but no reply. What a catastrophe