I want to share with you a thing I always take with me on the afternoon school run (sometimes also in the morning), which is a thing I have come to think of as my Bag O Shite.
A Bag O Shite is a ginormous, square-bottomed, lightweight bag, which you can fill full of the shite that your kids hand you, or that they need to take to school. I came up with this solution having spent a year trying to grapple with slithery coats, book bags, snack bags, shoes, “art”, extra books and whatever other catastrophic piles of… shite that your kids come out of school with.
I used to go on the school run forgetting that they have so much shite but finally realised that there is always shite.
Anyway my Bag O Shite as it happens is from Soho House, which sounds wanky and stupid but it is the most amazing Bag O Shite and if I didn’t already have one I would buy one. It costs £12 and I recommend it highly.
I have other Bags O Shite I use – notably an open-topped laundry bag thing from Ikea (I can’t find it online but you know what I mean); so I am a genuine expert on this bag genre; the thing that marks out a really good Bag O Shite from an okay one is the element of sturdiness.
The perfect Bag O Shite is light and easily folded but can, when expanded, stand up on its own so that you can lob things into it from a couple of feet away, or easily retrieve a child’s precious item such as the “airplane singy dat I mades wid duh spikey sings on it” without literally losing minutes of your life rummaging around in folds of fabric.
Massiveness is also pretty key, you don’t want to be jamming a too-small bag full of things, you want to just be able to merrily sling bookbags, coats, awkward-shaped things in. I also think no top-zip is also pretty important – absolutely nothing to impede the quick ingress and egress of the shite.
Look, on this one you could have it personalised to read BAG O SHITE.
Look THIS marvellous woman will make you one to your specs to order – out of oilcloth so not even the rain can stop you! Just ring her up and go “I WANT A MASSIVE ONE”.
This one has a clever front pocket for phones and keys and whatever other smaller shite you’ve got that you need to get to in a hurry. I hang my car keys round my neck. I am a veteran.