My EYES, fucking hell my EYES. You can’t really fake it with eyes and there’s no magic solution. Do eye creams work? I don’t know, I’ve tried a lot of them and I can’t really see how any of them are much better than a good dollop of Lansinoh or Eight Hour Cream.
Dark circles, puffiness – the only real cures for those are very clean living, more water than you thought was possible to drink (not even people who drink enough water drink enough water), taking your vitamins, going to bed early. And even then, when you are 38 with two small(ish) children and a life to live… your eyes take a battering.
I’m not saying targeted eye creams that promise to reduce dark circles and puffiness don’t do anything at all, I’m saying they’ve got a hell of a job to do and cannot on their own fight back the rising tide of too much wine, not enough water, or sunshine or meditation. And I sort of think “Christ, if I look this baggy and old and knackered using all this stuff… imagine how shite I’d look if I used nothing at all!”
The straight-talking American Trish McEvoy has got a thing about eyes, she does a lot of eye stuff. I faithfully used her Beauty Boost Eye Serum every night for two weeks and did not see an awful lot of difference, unless I was also living rather monastically. This is not to say it’s snake oil, just to say that nothing is a magic bullet.
But there were other things that are very good. Her Instant Eye Lift is just that, (again we’re not talking magic potion here and if you have an under-eye concealer you’re happy with, stick with it… I’m just reporting the facts) – paint it in a vague triangle shape under your eye and blend in and you feel a little less like topping yourself.
But it’s the next two things that are really, really good. First the mascara. I hadn’t realised that pretty much all other mascaras slightly irritate my eyes until I used this one, which feels completely weightless. It’s one of those “tubular” mascaras, which coat and form a seal around each lash so there is no flaking of tiny weeny flakes of mascara directly into your eye to send you potty with discomfort by 11am.
The thing I really love is called Eye Base Essentials. You apply this to clean eyelids with a brush and then put your eyeshadow on over the top and it doesn’t budge all night. Or day. Or for however long you want your eyeshadow to stay put.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “The kind of woman who puts a pre-sealant on her eyelids is not a woman I want to know” – but the thing is, it’s fine to put eyeshadow on in the evening and for it to be slopped around your face by 9pm when you are 25 because you’re 25.
But nowadays when I spend precious time that I could be using to read Marian Keyes or think about YSL handbags to apply eyeshadow I want it to stay there – because if it slops down around my face later I look like Zandra Rhodes and not in a good way.