It’s a funny old time to be in the business of skimming right now. And when I say skimming I mean making money off brands for selling on their behalf – for example here or on Instagram or YouTube.
I mean, the game is up, isn’t it? We all know we don’t need any more crap and we all feel guilty about making other people feel like they need more crap. Or we ought to, anyway.
In the room where I work I keep a couple of designer handbags that I never use and ought to sell on full view in order to remind myself that designer handbags are badly-made vulgar bullshit and won’t make you happy. It’s the same with these two very expensive pairs of trainers I bought myself. I’ve developed a nerve problem in my left foot – between the third and fourth toes and although I am faithfully doing my physio for it, I can’t really wear certain shoes, these trainers included. I ought to sell them but I keep them in order to remind myself that designer trainers are also problematic.
Why do I want these things? Sometimes I think I just want to be surrounded by beautiful stuff. I just want to own them, I don’t necessarily want to wear them.
This year I vow only to replace things that have worn out. No more new things. No more stupid midi-dresses that look absolutely ghastly on me and I never wear (except for one particular one – more on that later). I have worn the same things on repeat for the last six months and I have to get real and accept that this is who I am. Because of my foot I only wear heels once a month – if that. Because I am basically a classic tomboy, I am never going to wear: hairclips, bows, ruffles, skirts, a lot of jewellery, ballerina flats, an elaborate hairband or anything that requires tights. And I have stopped buying that shit because I know I do it because I feel like if I just try a little bit harder I can turn into someone else, that I don’t want to be anyway!
My current uniform looks like this:
Jeans: when it is warm I wear a pair of Levis cropped jeans that they no longer sell. When it is cold I wear a J Brand skinny jean that they no longer sell either.
Shoes: when it is warm I wear Birkenstock Arizonas or Ancient Greek “Thais” sandals in gold. When it is cold I wear Hummel high tops or Allbirds “Mizzle” trainers with leg warmers. When it is cold and wet I wear Nike Air Force 1s which I have been wearing for so many more years than all the teens have been wearing them so there.
Tops: When it is warm I wear band t-shirts. When it is cold I wear band t-shirts underneath a sweater or a hoodie, even though I couldn’t give less of AF about Def Leppard or Metallica or Led Zeppelin but they look cool and are super comfy and make me seem edgy which I am so not.
Other: when it is boiling I wear an R. Vivimos dress I bought off Amazon. It is made of rayon and doesn’t crease. It’s the most fabulous dress to wear when it’s just stinking hot. It’s non-sweaty or clingy, hides stains and it’s long so you don’t have to do anything complicated with your legs. I have in fact got it in 2 colours. If you like the look of it, get it in one size up and then wash it and it will shrink to your size. I was rather worried that these dresses are made in a massive sinister sweat shop so I emailed the company and had a chat with them and they seemed absolutely reasonable but that’s not to say they’re not made in a sweatshop.
Eveningwear: whichever black dress in my closet that is clean and the same shoes I have worn in the evening for eight years.
Underwear: I am newly devoted to massive pants from M&S, which look like they will be hideous but actually are the only things that don’t give you VPL and look quite cute on, like little shorts.
Sport: I wear Ernest Leoty leggings for spin and barre along with an assortment of other ancient bras and t-shirts, which completely spoil the look but literally WHO CARES.
Bag: I have had for 15 years the same M&S brown leather satchel, which I have had repaired 4 times as it gradually fell to bits. I had to accept the other day that I needed a new bag because this one was quite disgusting. It took me months to track down a similar replacement, (in the end from Madewell), because I knew I had to find one almost exactly the same – a roomy but not too big top-loader with an outside pocket and inner pocket. I have used it every day since it arrived. And, I can’t believe it, but they don’t sell it anymore! It’s identical to this Brooklyn crossbody, except bigger.
I mean, I occasionally wear other things in my wardrobe but 100% only because I feel guilty about them hanging there unworn.
And I still buy things! Can you believe it?! I buy things because I am basically not entirely mentally together but I pretty much send everything back. I have worked out that what I enjoy is the buying and the anticipation of the arrival. That’s terrible isn’t it. At least I know. I’m working on it.
How about you? What is your uniform?
Making is the new buying. I make a lot of my clothes and all soft furnishings. It’s fun and you get what you want. Buy your fabric from respectable Indian companies. Use charity shops for everything else. And I make bags from heavier scrap fabric.
You sound brilliant!
We came back in September from living in France for a year and during that time I bought only two things – a coat and a blazer. Partly due to ‘trying to be good’. partly because the shops near us are shit and partly because we weren’t earning any money (by choice) and I have lots of clothes. Anyway I lived all winter in jeans, a jumper (I had three on rotation, I am also a tom-boy) and trainers (Veja) and in summer, a cotton dress I bought from Plumo in the sales and other days, denim shorts and a vest top/tshirts. It was very freeing I have to say and now when I buy anything (still basically nothing) I genuinely do now think, do I really need this. I am not holier than though, I totally get the ‘I want and I must have this’ feeling about A LOT of clothes and shoes I see.
What I do now need, having recently started working again, are some clothes that aren’t just jeans but I don’t know where to start really. I’m only in London once every few weeks, otherwise working from home, so yesterday when I went up I wore a leather skirt, a cashmere jumper and my new black stompy leather boots. What is a good work ‘uniform’? (I’m a marketing consultant) Should I find a couple of new blouses (such a horrid word), some plastic/leather trousers and maybe a dress?! I need to look cool-ish because of the industry but I’m 43 and not 23!
I get some really wonderful clothes 2nd hand. eBay or vintage markets- great coats, blouses, skirts, dresses, well made and sustainable.
Good point, now searching eBay for hush dresses!
https://www.paulmarius.fr/en/ Paul Marius bags are wonderful- I’ve had one for over a year and it is wearing really well, really strong well made bags- and not everyone will have one.
Esther, as so often you do, you’ve put your finger on it.
There’s so much to respond to – some philosophical, some practical.
Philosophically, why do humans like to accumulate stuff? Who knows! But universally we do. Arguably, Communism’s days were always going to be numbered once Soviets knew there were Levi’s to be had in the free West. No amount of state provided flats, state provided education or state provided jobs for life would compensate for a lack of fashion!
Once we know we are basically magpies with feet, opposable thumbs and brains, always on the look out for the next shiny thing, then the question becomes how do we restrain our acquisition habits, that are killing the planet?
I’ve just been visiting family in Aus for 16 days. I wore one sun dress and one pair of sandals. I swapped it out occasionally for a fancier dress for a couple of parties. So freeing. Such light packing!
This Christmas, my husband gave me a Sodastream and my mother gave me a frying pan, both at my request. And that was it. I am delighted! I love gifts, but the right gifts. The wrong gifts are just clutter and a burden. To avoid inflicting my current allergy to *stuff* on others, I gave goodie bags of yummy stuff as gifts.
I love to look at clothes and it can be very tempting, but I’ve learnt to skim through all the Hush/ Boden/ &Other Stories emails and wait for that thing that jumps out that I *must* have. Funnily, that doesn’t happen all that often. And when it does, more often than not I love it and wear it to death.
I like to think that I am liberating my time, my money (!) and my mental energy by dialling down the purchasing. I honestly would rather pay down the mortgage, go out to dinner or free up time/ money to retrain now I’m out of the small-child-hell, instead of scroll and buy clothes I won’t wear because I don’t have the lifestyle.
However, I don’t earn my money from pushing product. That’s certainly a conundrum.
Esther, I’m completely with you on the massive M&S pants. I was feeling a bit embarrassed about admitting to wearing them because they’re usually described as ‘granny pants’ and I’m not (yet) old enough to be in that bracket. I initially chose them for lack of VPL, but have since realised – more importantly – that they are soooo comfortable.
On the cheery pants front (although defying the ‘don’t buy stuff’ front) I thought I’d put in a word for Molke pants. They’re a bit more expensive but are an ethical pants company in Scotland and it seems like a nice thing to add after Esther’s comments on the R. Vivimos dress They only make big pants but they make the gusset in a contrasting colourful pattern to the rest of your pants. I know it’s a little thing but it can be quite cheering to see while you’re having a pee. https://molke.co.uk
I haven’t worn heels much for some time and after an extremely painful year of physio for my sacroiliac joint I haven’t even been able to wear flat leather boots for long periods as they are too heavy, and actually it has been a relief to kind of jettison the whole boot and shoe shopping thing and adjust trainers accordingly instead. That line about trying to turn into someone else you don’t even want to be is very good – I have definitely been driven by that at times. I keep expecting I might buy sudden sophistication in the sales even though I’m clicking away in a Jurassic Park t shirt.
Thank you, thank you so much for this; you have made me feel so much better about myself, a country woman who lives in jeans, shirts & jumpers with a smart skirt, shirt & jumper for work. I did buy the black Hush summer holiday dress you recommended & it was perfect so please go on being true to yourself & recommended things you wear yourself. I am with you 100%, just buying what I need not clothes for a lifestyle I will never lead.
PS no more heels either due to back issues.
Here in Australia (total opposite season) living in Batoko bathers, a hush maxi t shirt dress and a pair of saltwater slides….. all highly recommended- Batoko swimsuits made from recycled plastic
Esther- love the dresses. What is the sizing like do you think? I am a 12. Thanks
Switched to M&S big pants last year. One of my very best decisions, along with nude wireless bras from Wacol, my underwear drawer has never been so empty!
I have that thing about buying it and not being so interested once it arrives – apparently the purchase gives a dopamine hit.
It’s so heartening to know that more and more people are questioning their buying habits and trying to change. Is the tide turning and is it in time? I really hope so and posts like this, with all the replies, ARE hopeful. For three months now I’ve been writing down all my spending and it really does help because it makes me think twice and I can track the reality, rather than what I think/wish I’ve done. I also delete emails from clothing companies without looking at them, most of the time. If I do look, then I will think very carefully before buying. Another good place for clothing you want to donate or buy is https://re-fashion.co.uk/
Awkwardly I want to now buy all that stuff. I’m a size 12. Would you recommend the medium or large in that amazon dress? And which colours did you choose? Xx
Ellie! Sorry for taking so long to reply. I have got a green one and a pink/orange one as I felt those colourways would hide the most stains.
I am a size 10 and first one I got an S and it shrank in the wash so while it fits it squishes my boobs up a bit. The second one I bought an M and when it shrank it fitted but it is still loose so I would recommend an M if you really are a 12 but I don’t think you can be. Are you really?
I sidestep the ‘wanties’ of clothes, shoes or anything else for that matter by having a very clear goal of what I REALLY want.
Your goal could be something such as a holiday, saving for a property deposit or being mortgage free and every time you get the urge to buy something, anything, you just ask yourself ‘is this purchase going to take me closer to, or further away from my goal of xxxxx’.
Once you’ve got this habit firmly in your head it’s dead easy from then on as you start to see the result in your bank balance and you realise that the goal is going to give you FAR more pleasure and satisfaction than the clothes, shoes or bag purchase.
When my husband is working away (lots) and I’m trapped in my house from 7pm every night because the kids are in bed, my entertainment for years was putting something mindless on the tv and sitting buying things on my phone. Bad for the planet/ bank account/ mental health/ sleep hygiene etc etc and while I’d love to tell you I’ve taken up knitting or something worthy I’ve actually just taken the Amazon app off my phone and for a placebo hit I sometimes sit and do a sainsburys online shop. We do actually need food. So not addressing all the ‘bad fors’ but it’s something. Elaine x
This is what I have to do, take my Amazon app off my phone! Doing that right now!
And the Zappos app too!
So with you on the enjoying purchasing and anticipation of arrival of said purchases! I have a list of things I am ‘allowed’ to buy this year and I’m going to try second hand first. In terms of enjoying knowing stuff is going to arrive, I’m managing to derive at leasy some of that from my new milk and more delivery!
I buy a lot of clothes on EBay and have found some great bargains in coats and cashmere sweaters. When I get bored I sell ‘em back on eBay. I’m only interested in wearing clothes that are comfortable. In winter I wear jeans and jumpers Uniqlo wool or cashmere and my new extravagant Celtic ugg style boots in gorgeous ruby red. In summer a linen or cotton dress and flat sandals. Never wear high heels ever!
Esther! This is so good! It’s why I loved your capsule posts so much – there is so much extraneous crud out there, which I neither want nor need, yet somehow for years I still tried to convince myself that I both wanted AND needed it! It’s taken me far too long to realise that I naturally veer towards dressing in a sort of “uniform” (Levi’s, sweatshirt, Nike Internationalist trainers, that I’ve been wearing a version of since about 1983, and a parka when it’s raining) that actually suits my needs and body pretty well. Not fashionable, but totally practical and I genuinely feel “good” in this stuff! Might need to work on my summer wardrobe though ……the beachy dresses you mentioned look lovely. How does the sizing translate? Anyway, another great post. I will definitely cry if you stop writing this stuff ☺️💕
Louise I am a size 10 and R Vivimos dress in an S is perfect BUT!!! they shrink in the wash. The next one I bought was an M and I washed it VERY hot and it shrank to a good size but still roomy – so I’d say if you were a 10-12, get an M and blast it in the machine on a 90 wash or just wash it in very hot water in a plastic tub x
I have bought the M and L. I am also a true 10/12. I have washed the M (which fitted perfectly) at 40degrees. It did shrink a bit over the boobs but still fits perfectly fine.
I will no send back the L.
Hope this helps
This! Right here is my problem! I keep buying stuff that I wear once and never again. I want to be a dress person but i’m just not! I have two big slouchy sweaters that I got from Uniqulo this fall and wear them with jeans if I go out or leggings and a big pair of fuzzy socks when I’m home. I don’t think anyone has noticed that I wear the same thing day in day out.
PS i’m thinking strongly that I need to challenge my self to not buy any more clothes except to replace if I can’t repair. I says something that the thought is giving me a bit of anxiety.
a total shopping ban gives me massive anxiety
Aaaand I’ve already failed at my challenge…BUT in my defense I just replaced a sweater that couldn’t be repaired so…. not criminal but still.
Those pants are the best pants of all time, I have about 18 pairs, it is divine. I have decided this year to mostly wear monochrome clothes, which makes getting dressed a lot easier. I did buy a pair of new black ankle boots in the sales though, as having lived in trainers for the last year I was starting to feel a bit slobbish. I am definitely someone who needs to buy smart things that are comfortable to wear. I can’t do properly casual or unconstructed items , I just look like a bag of old washing, so my uniform consists of a good black slim jean, a white shirt or t-shirt, some sort of good quality jumper, a small gold hoop, a red lip, a nude nail…it’s the easiest outfit combo ever and without fail I get told often that I look smart/chic/put together/good. Summer is a black or white linen dress (occasionally a stripe or a denim number paired with a Birkenstock or a skinny strap leather number). It’s so much easier than trying to pull off colour (I can, but I have to put more thought into the combinations than I can truly be arsed to do and have more than once left the house to go to work looking like Timmy Mallett having a go on The Apprentice).
May I ask a couple of question about the M&S pants?
1) Are they true to dress size? I always used to size up but they seem to fall down…
2) Are they better than Stripe and Stare?
My ‘uniform’ is skinny jeans (H&M or Arket) with merino or cotton jumper (Uniqlo/Boden/ME+EM/Hush) – sometimes with a shirt. Woden trainers or Blundstone boots. Watch, eternity ring, silver earrings. Rinse and repeat.
So I find they are true to size but it depends on if you get the high waisted ones (truly beyond comfortable) or the bikini ones. I have a few of both. The high waisted are my favourites, not least because if you wear e.g. a jean, I find they go a long way to protecting your stomach/skin from that pressing that happens around the waistband and/or button. They come up high enough on me to almost match the waistband height of most jeans I wear, so I really appreciate them for that. The bikini ones I would say run to normal size but depending on your shape, they may roll down a bit at the sides if you’re quite squishy in the hip area, like I am. If in doubt, I would try the high waisted ones first. Linked them both here for ease! High waisted/full: https://www.marksandspencer.com/modal-rich-flexifit-full-briefs/p/clp60091190?image=SD_02_T61_0848_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=srp Bikini: https://www.marksandspencer.com/modal-rich-flexifit-high-leg-knickers/p/clp60091995?image=SD_02_T61_7033_Z0_X_EC_90&color=WHITE&prevPage=srp
I blame you … here I am in my allbirds .. didn’t need them. Cream coat from the sales comp of Lady of the Manor..didn’t need that either.
make up.. unbelievable! I even have a ‘lipstick drawer’! Dozens of them influenced by Melanielovesthis.
my kids ( grown women with teenagers ) are in hysterics when I say ‘my influencer told me to buy them’
I constantly get it wrong too.. knee length boots over my jeans .. ‘Jesus mum you look like a hooker’. Short teddy coat over leggings….no mum you’re not Martha! (15 tall blonde leggy grand daughter).
But three glasses of wine late at night and it’s time to order shite I don’t need.
Shame on you .. now to find the rayon dress
Sheila I thought I could get away with a roll neck jumper this winter. I had visions of looking like those beautiful blonde girls in roll neck and coat and sunglasses that you see.
In reality it made me look like a dumpy tortoise poking its head out of its shell. Sigh.
Oh me too …. all the time … I’m now ‘influenced’ into only buying v necks…. I have around 7 cashmere round or roll necks ! I look fat in!
Sheila – I’m a bit like you on the make-up front. Have tons of lipstick too – always looking for the perfect shade. Spent a fortune on ‘nudes’ at Mac and Bobbi Brown which don’t suit me.
I’m full of self loathing … for doing this and they’re not cheap… the good lipsticks … are they
I feel like my tom boy uniform is similar! Most days I opt for jeans which I wear with a “favourite long sleeved T” from Gap which I have in white, black, grey and navy. On my feet it’s Birkenstocks, slip-on Vans or all white Adidas. Underwear are bras from Bravissimo (well worth visiting if you’re above a C cup!) and big Flexi Fit pants from M&S. You won’t find more comfortable knickers! I don’t like anything around my neck so minimal jewellery, usually just a pair of simple studs. I also find this “uniform” works really well with a multitude of styles when it comes to outerwear. I often wear a grey marl “coatigan” from Next (stupid name I know, it’s a kind of cross between a coat and a cardigan) and a black pashmina style scarf. But works equally well with a hoodie, fur lined parka, puffa style coat or rain mac depending on the weather. Bag wise I have a brown leather tote for work (SuperDry), a grey saddle bag (Marc Jacobs) for every day or a canary yellow crossbody bag (Kate Spade) for when I want to travel light.
I’ve realised my uniform is jeans, jumper, trainers. However I have a jacket obsession that definitely needs to stop now I have finally taken the plunge on the leather biker jacket from Hush in the sale that I have lusted after for so long. I’ve hidden it from my husband even though I’m a grown woman. It’s pathetic.
I’m also always on the lookout for bags that can hold everything but will somehow not make me feel or look demented with carrying ALL THE STUFF.
I did live in a easy breezy Hush midi dress in the summer so thanks for the recommendation – I still need your advice!
I’ve just ordered that as well as always hankered after a leather jacket & Hush always get great reviews, half price! Also two of the Amazon dresses to dress as off to Hong Kong & feel they could be useful for sight-seeing in. All may well go back but all genuinely filling a gap in my wardrobe so keeping fingers crossed for clothes that will be well used.
Ah ‘morton neuroma’ is that excruciating pain in the foot, I wore those mbt trainers for about two years, hideous but took all pressure off my sole, though possibly withered my actual soul. Anyway finally got round to seeing a proper foot doctor who gave me a quick steroid injection and ta dah – magically it vanished.
It’s come back a bit a decade on but I’m more careful to wear shoes that fit, not turn my toes numb and feel like a hot poker…. no cramming my feet into small shoes, however shiny!
yes I am considering the steroid injection… but for the moment just persisting with self-massage and physio exercises
Do the injection, felt like slapping myself on the forehead having not had it done earlier…
Perfect post. Looks like you have struck a cord. I went to Brent Cross yesterday for a serious mooch around and came out with a sandwich. I guess the tail end of the sales is a bad time to shop, but my main thought was ‘do I really need any more crapola?’. And I have been the same in the West End too.
I wear a pair of Hudson jeans every day (same pair, going strong for 2 years). When they are being washed I wear a True Religion pair I have owned for 5 years. Black Hudson jeans and a jazzy top if out for dinner. Mostly Uniqlo jumpers in winter, Hush or Toast shirts in summer. Buy dresses occasionally, wear twice.
I spend the money I save by not buying clothes on having sheets and towels sent out to be laundered, and Frederic Malle perfume so I at least smell wonderful. I also splurge on books (husband thinks they are “clutter”, but that is his problem).
sometimes just a nice wander around the shops is all you need, you don’t actually need to buy anything. I do that a lot. I call it “research”
THANK YOU! I have been a jeans person since I stopped working in an office and constantly feel guilty that I don’t ‘try harder’. I have several dresses hanging in my wardrobe and I do look at them from time to time. Sometimes in the middle of the night I worry that when I’m an old lady I will look back and mourn all the days I opted for jeans over something braver. But you’ve got me thinking (along with many other lovely commenters) that I should just let it go and be me. On the bright side, it would free up time in my midnight worry sessions for even more important things! x
Great post! Esther is your foot problem called a Morton’s Neuroma? I have it too and it’s awful. These are NOT cute but Merrell Trail Glove sneakers/trainers completely take the pain away for me by taking off the pressure. Of course it comes back when you put on any other shoe ugh. Well except for Birks. Good luck!
Yes it is exactly this! I find with my physio and self-massage it’s containable…
Thank you for this post, it’s wonderful to see such self awareness and honesty.
I had a baby 7 months ago so am living in a capsule wardrobe of breastfeed dresses and comfy activewear. It’s been so nice having less choices.
Having a child really had made me even more keen to be environmentally responsible so that the planet remains habitable for future generations!
I have come to accept my uniform is jeans and one of my black handknitted jumpers with a roll neck. And in the summer a sundress with the same black jumper over the top. They really are excellent jumpers though, crazy soft alpaca/silk – all fluffy and French looking all handknitted by me – check them out on my Instagram @ellajordanknits they are available to buy 🙂
Great post btw… I’m always chuffed when I see you’ve been on Instagram etc.
“And I still buy things! Can you believe it?! I buy things because I am basically not entirely mentally together but I pretty much send everything back. I have worked out that what I enjoy is the buying and the anticipation of the arrival. That’s terrible isn’t it. At least I know. I’m working on it.”
I was recently traumatised by some information that I’m going to have to share with you. About 50% of online returns end up in landfill because it’s less cost -effective to check for defects, clean, repackage, etc. I’m terrible for buying a bunch of stuff and only keeping what I really really want and this has put me in a down mood for weeks. Of course, clothing is the worst offender…
https://www.theverge.com/2019/12/26/21031855/free-returns-environmental-cost-holiday-online-shopping-amazon
I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that
Yes to all of this apart from the band t-shirt thing. I totally get the aspiration to edginess, but if someone comes up to you wanting to acknowledge or discuss said band that you know nothing about, or hate, you will instantly be outed as a complete tit. I speak from experience on both sides!
Ha this is so funny! What band was it?!
I had my husband’s Trivium hoodie on at the gym once, a band I’m not a fan of, but IN MY DEFENCE it was the only clean one I could find. Obviously the inevitable happened, and the bloke was what you might call rather hot too, so doubly humiliating. But then it was probably karma for doing the same thing to a girl in a Black Sabbath t-shirt a few years ago (I was so excited because I NEVER meet any other women who like Sabbath; so I was maybe a bit harsh… Like I said, karma.)
ha! this is so funny! I thought the same thing about band t shirts. I have “borrowed” my husband’s AC/DC shirt. A) it looks better on me and B) I really do like them, although I wouldn’t get all geeky about Highway to Hell vs Back in Black or similar…
Kirttei, that’s awesome 😂 and you are still way ahead of me as I have never even heard of them! If we can only wear shirts of bands we are intimately familiar with then I’m going to have to get myself a Duran Duran shirt lol
I consider myself a hard rock/metal fan primarily but there is NO knocking a bit of Duran Duran! Wear that t-shirt with pride and moist-eyed 80s nostalgia
Just before Christmas I started a new job where I can wear anything I like at all, even though it is in a big corporate marketing department of a high street bank. At first I found the freedom really panic-inducing but I’ve now settled into my uniform of black cropped jeans (Jamie by Top Shop, I have four pairs), some nice snazzy trainers (Marc Jacobs, don’t judge me) and a good sweater. I get all my sweaters in the sale at Jaeger as they are wool/cashmere and never lose their shape. I always get them in two sizes too big for me. I’ve gone right off scarves and fancy jewellery, but do have a lovely men’s watch with a leather strap. I find this is what makes me happy, and if I dress in anything different I feel like a Drag Queen or just plain uncomfortable. For Christmas I got a Ralph Lauren handbag in a khaki green/grey colour that I love more than my children and that’s it. It saves me hours in the morning and I know who I am!
Skinny indigo jeggings from M+S, with a long sleeved t shirt under a massive jumper, and boots when it’s cold. I am a massive fan of biker flat boots (I am built like a lanky brick shit house, so I don’t wear heels because I look like Godzilla) and my faves are Rocket Dog. I DO love metal, so I have a collection of band shirts. I went to a gig in summer in the shortest of short shorts, fishnets and a Sonisphere shirt, dripping with black leather accessories, and Esther, I have never felt better. But if I did the school run dressed like that, people would flee from the giant terrifying rock monster.
When it’s warm, same jeggings but with a tunic style top and Chuck Taylors.
When it’s HOT, whatever maxi dress I have found that doesn’t make me look like my pregnant mother in the 80s, and gladiator style sandals. My favourite ones, which I got from New Look in about 2008, have died so please run a feature on them in the summer so I can stare at ones I can’t afford and end up buying whatever New Look have in.
Sometimes I have to go and do PROPER WORK, and then I wear wide-cut black trousers and a smart jumper with the most opulent boots I can find. I have a boot problem.
I always buy a new dress for a wedding, because fuck it, why not?
Dex you make me laugh SO MUCH
Esther I love this post. Mainly because I totally understand where you are coming from. I work from home. Occasionally have meetings in London but by and large I live in jeans, (Zara or Gap) t shirts (PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO GET GREAT WHITE Ts?) and Uniqlo jumpers. I wear converse, Vejas and Nike trainers… DM Chelsea boots (so comfy) and in summer Birkenstocks. I usually find a perfect 60s shift dress in Zara for summer or wear green cargo trousers from gap and linen shirts. That’s it. A slip dress for summer parties and an ancient black French Connection LBD (bought the year after my daughter was born – shit – 2011) for winter. I often see shoes that I think – ‘I’d like to have the life to go with those,’ but in reality, I’m a script writer who mainly goes in the school run or to the cinema. I’m a tomboy too and hate flounce and frill…
However, I did once buy a long green high necked dress – during my time one Xmas watching Feud. I thought I was Bette Davis in it and although man repelling – I wear it occasionally as it suits drinking champagne in…
I have realized that whilst I want to look like Lucy Williams the style blogger, I am an E cup who is 46. Ships have sailed. So be it. Moreover, thank fuck I don’t have to try hard in any way, ever again.
Amen to all you say above.
Agree with everything you and everyone else has said.
Can you please do similar for food/cooking now? I’m so fed up of thinking about meals, buying new cookbooks, trying new recipes. I need a capsule dinner repertoire. And be adventurous only on high days and holidays or if and when I can be bothered.
Esther you are a breath of fresh air -like the little boy in the emperors new clothes pointing out what we all know deep down is total bollocks but somehow still get sucked into. I am not too bad at resisting temptation on the clothing front usually and would tentatively even say I’ve managed to create a pretty minimal ‘capsule’ wardrobe (thanks to your encouragement) but I still found myself buckling and buying a hairband, pearly hairclip (why???) and some floaty apparently French looking (seems lots of instagrammers are obsessed with looking French) dress I am yet to wear last year because I was completely suckered into it by Instagram! And yet I still follow these people even though my own account is all about decluttering and trying to live a slower more mindful existence which I genuine do try to do. Currently wearing hush joggers and a sweatshirt until I have to go to work later when I’ll be in a pair of navy trousers, Boden trainers and a grey GAP merino jumper which I intend to wear to death and then replace with an identical one.
I used to wear Boden Mayfair jeans as my go to and now they have discontinued them I am distraught as the replacement style doesn’t fit me as well. I don’t like shopping anymore and for four years I just ‘added to cart’ without thinking twice about it, when a pair wore out. Which happens a fair amount with small children and a dog. And they were quite cheap! Now I shall have to start searching all over again!
omg it is utterly infuriating when that happens