I’m borderline obsessed by big pants at the moment. Big pants and whether or not to get the closed-toe kind of Birkenstock.
First: pants. I always put off buying pants because I have got what is commonly termed as a hungry bum and all pants just get wedged up there and it’s AWFUL.
Famously, you can’t try pants on in the shop (and definitely not now) and so I buy pants half-heartedly, speculatively and am always disappointed when they are the most wrigglesomely most terribly uncomfortable things in the word, sending me reeling and cursing back up to my bedroom to fling them off and get something else on. And then they sit there for years because I cannot return them and feel awful flinging them off to the ragmen.
So I never bother trying out new pants and have plugged on for years with my faithful M&S microfibre bikinis, which are all great and marvellous up to a point because in certain clothes they don’t half give you a hell of a VPL.
But in lockdown, priorities change. Time expands and contracts in a strange accordion-like way and I find that I have time to do things like buy a selection of massive pants in order to find really good ones.
My top hits so far are:
Sloggi Maxi Pants (try typing that without falling about laughing)
Chantelle Soft Stretch High-Waisted Briefs these, bizarrely, only come in one size and it’s not an especially generous size. I am a size 12 bum and these fit me exactly but any bigger and they wouldn’t. I wasn’t going to feature them because of this but they are so good and comfy and genuinely zero VPL I have been forced to.
And now these, the Birkenstock Boston sandal. I am sorely tempted. Aren’t you?? How can you not be!
But I mean I really can’t. Giles will just leave. He will stand up and leave, shouting “I told you months ago it was me or the shoes!” over his shoulder. So I won’t. But you can.
I have also just finished and unchallenging but great fun book called Big Summer, by Jennifer Weiner. To tell you anything about it will give the whole thing away, but I won’t. I mean, it’s no Wolf Hall but it was fun and un-cliched but I enjoyed it.
How about you? Which bizarre items are you lusting after at the moment. And have you read any good books recently?