There’s that thing people say, about hitting rock bottom. It goes “something, something, something… but the good thing is the only way is up”.
But, hang on… surely that’s not true. Going back up is not an inevitability – surely you can bounce along at rock bottom for some time. Perhaps forever? I hit my personal rock bottom some time at the beginning of the week. Hormones? Maybe. One or both of my children being vile? Not out of the question. The horrific neck crick that I woke up with one morning that became progressively worse over the next two days to the point where I was in tears? (Giles had to get the WD40 out and un-rust me) *
Dunno. Maybe all, or one. Or both? Who’s counting. But let me tell you: I am at a low point and I don’t especially see an upward swing coming any time soon and I may have to re-direct my post from Kentish Town to CrappyVille.
Meanwhile, there are some loose ends of things that, in my blue state, I may as well tell you about.
The first is that facial sprays are, I think, about to be a thing. I have been using one in lieu of moisturiser, morning and evening, called Toleriane Ultra 8 by La Roche Posay, which is ideal for sensitive skin, delivering loads of moisture without any rubbing-in or, at this time of year, any thing where the application on top of make-up or SPF leads to crumbing. It’s very good.
The other facial spray is by Balance Me and is a PHA Clarifying Mist, which is basically another one for sensitive (i.e. spot-prone) skin, containing PHAs to exfoliate and antibacterial stuff but it will not irritate your skin or make you spontaneously combust on contact with sunlight. I’ve only just started using this so have no judgment to make but I thought I’d mention it anyway as you’re going to see it promoted everywhere as Balance Me have very good grass-roots marketing.
While we’re on the subject of Balance Me, they make one of the world’s best lip balms, the Stellar Balm. I’ve had my little pot for ages and it’s wonderful stuff and I keep meaning to give it a well-deserved plug. So many lip balms just slide around greasily on the surface of the lip, not sinking in or really doing anything of any use. This got me to thinking about my best lip balms, which are…
Lansinoh cream – this is for cracked nipples, but it is the best lip balm ever. That Dr Lipp stuff and Lanolips are having a laugh – they’ve repackaged it and charged like five times the price for the same (or suspiciously similar) product, which is grease made out of sheep. I’m in the wrong job.
If I was thrifty I would buy a massive tube of this and decant it into little Trinny London stacking pots and all my lip balm troubles would be over for ever.
But I do love variety – and you also can’t beat Carmex.
The best non-weird tasting SPF lip balm is from UItraSun. Sure, go ahead and laugh… have YOU ever had a burnt top lip? It’s not funny.
What else? Oh yes. Okay this is random but I found the best ever little white sun top at… NEW LOOK!!! Normally I would touch New Look, mostly because I’d be worried about getting a shock from all the static, but I tried this during mad lockdown boredom and it was absolutely the perfect thing. I don’t suit ruffles but I do want to do the sort of Isabel Maranty frilly top thing this year and this strikes just the right balance. I adore it. The sizing is accurate and generous around the boobs, take your usual.
One last thing. No wait, two more. If you’re wondering what’s missing from your summer wardrobe, it’s possibly a pair of espadrilles. Castaner have branched out from super-high slag platform espies to flat things, which I like the look of but have yet to wear mine out from last year so cannot justify a new pair. I dunno, I like those Soludos ones but I always hesitate to get a pair because I’d feel like such a tit getting into an argument with someone while wearing flamingos on my feet.
Okay last thing: I have just discovered that super swank perfumer Miller Harris do weeny 2ml tester bottles, which are more than enough for about 6 months’ worth of scent if you ask me, for £3. They also do 9ml bottles of certain fragrances for £8. I got myself one of the Lumière Dorée because my friend Preena who wears it graciously allowed me to copy her and I am pleased as punch with it. I never want to commit £400 to a very posh perfume and now I don’t have to!
Just generally it’s nice to see perfumers a bit more on board with try-before-you-buy. There is no way you can accurately try out a scent in a crowded department store where you are being bombarded by 90 other smells and hungry for your lunch. Trying to wheedle a sample off the girl at the counter is just embarrassing. And of course all of that it, right now, a moot point.
So to let you buy a small amount of one or two so you can wear them about while you’re thinking about it seems like good sense to me.
Although can any smell really beat Eau Dynamisante by Clarins? Especially in the summer? Or am I really showing my age. Discuss.
*I have now got some Co-codamol and Valium so things are looking up
On the subject of facial sprays.. I had one in my advent calendar (which was one of the best presents I’ve ever had). It’s made by Omorovicza and is possibly the most beautifully designed bottle ever (excluding alcohol)! I can’t recommend it though as I haven’t properly tried it. I just leave it out when people visit..! Glad you’re feeling better.
Yes to Eau Dynamisante! Also in Australia and one child back to school which a massive relief as he has been a nightmare to homeschool…,
I’m new here, but just piping up to say this is the absolute best facial spray! I used to take it on the plane (remember those?) because the scent is lovely but not strong enough to piss off anybody in the vicinity, but it’s also lovely to keep by the bed on warm summer evenings.
Thanks for your honesty, Esther. I am also at rock bottom. I’ve been isolating on my own and now face the prospect of going back to work & motivating other humans – suddenly a scary prospect. BF lives in Wales so all a bit rubbish.
Things will get better. Maybe not in great big firework moments, but in little ways. The pendulum has to swing!
Anyway, my top ever lip balm is Dr Sam’s – truly exceptional.
Eau de Lancôme (the original lemony scent) has been my choice since someone gave me a bottle at 16 to take on my exchange trip to Valencia and my grandmother wore Eau de Lancôme all her adult life, but I always have Eau Dynamisante as back-up.
Jurlique rose face spray is divine. I have a body lotion bottle of Lumiere Doree and it smells to me like a lovely reminder of your grandma’s fragrance, quite old fashioned cologne smell. And Eau Dynamisante is an instant pick you up smell. Just lovely. I’m a long time Miller Harris fan – they do great sales – and I LOVE their unisex Fumee range. Fabulous in Winter, Luke a wood burner smell. A relatively cheap one that my partner loves is Nuxe Prodigieux parfum. He says it makes me smell like a sexy nurse. Make of that what you will!!
Esther I knew I loved you for a reason. Eau Dynamisante is the best ever. I have been wearing the spray deodorant for 20 years and for the last 2 years I have been using the shower gel. Makes me feel happy and is ‘my’ scent. Hang in there. I am in Aus and one child went back to school last week and the other 2 in another week. It was a big step towards feeling a bit normal again, well the ‘new’ normal anyway.
I had a dreadful neck crick recently and went to see a chiropractor – which was a big deal because I am terrified of them but I was in soooo much pain – and he immediately diagnosed the problem as me sleeping on my front (with neck therefore twisted to side at awkward angle) and said I must never do it again. Just thought I would mention in case you also sleep on your front.
Now off to check out the Miller Harris site and buy some Eau Dynamisante. Suggestible, me?
Have you tried CBD oil? For desperation, not as a face oil. I hit rock bottom about a month ago & really just wanted to stay in bed and cry but I’m on my own with a million children (6 – see, a million!) and unfortunately that just wasn’t an option. I’m annoying myself with my new ‘self care susan’ ways but I have to admit they are kind of helping. I’ve cut out refined sugar (& gluten, I’ve got Ulcerative Colitis and should have done that years ago, it’s really helped), I’m doing loads of Yoga (yoga with Adriene) and Hiit classes (GORGEOUS Pmac on Instagram) & not drinking alcohol but I think what’s helped the most is actually the CBD oil. I got a bottle from Blessed (about £70 – I know!!!) and I think it really works – but not in any way I can put into actual words, sorry! Sending love xxx
Yes to CBD, and ditto also to UC although I’m having more success cutting lactose than gluten. I use the Simply CBD stuff and I do think it helps with anxiety once you find your sweet-spot in terms of dosage. And same with knocking the lovely alcohol on the head
Six is definitely a million children!!! how are you not dead. CBD oil doesn’t agree with me or do anything, I’ve tried several different expensive preparations. Zero effect. Such a shame… back to the rose!
As always Esther, you put your finger on the zeitgeist. I got very blue on Friday. End of week 10 lockdown. Doing 99% of the childcare. Feeling jealous that family and friends in Aus, NZ and Europe going back to nearly normal. And here we are. With a Govt that seems to be fucking up at every turn. And our Head Teacher has basically said, unless you’re in one of the three nominated year groups *and* you’re an essential worker or particularly vulnerable, you might as well forgeddaboud going to school any time before Sept. This just threw me into such gloom. I was on the Govt’s side at the start, but it has not handled this well and so the lockdown of the one thing that might make a difference – school closure- is prolonged. And it’s us mothers who will cop the ongoing hassle and burden of that.
Anyway, lip balm. As an Aussie I was, like all Aussie women, dedicated to Lucas Paw Paw cream. Doubles as nappy rash ointment. However after years of chronic flaky lips I ditched them all and my lips- after a period of adjustment- are much better.
Will look into face spray though
Thanks 🙂
Sorry to hear you’re feeling blue, it’s refreshing how honest you are about it. The thing I’ve always thought about ‘rock bottom’ is how do you know you’re there? Unless with hindsight? I mean, maybe things could be worse? Sorry to be pessimistic but I’ve just had baby no.2 and lack of sleep does tend to do that to me.
And on that subject I am nearly, but not quite, back to my normal, pre-pregnancy size but since the shops are all shut I’m really struggling for clothes! I don’t want to wear maternity size things and my normal jeans just don’t quite fit. The one pair I could get into comfortably literally split open along the crotch when I squatted down to do the washing. So I bought some online from Gap, thought they were OK but now I’ve washed them they’ve weirdly gone looser? And now it’s too late to return them. I also hate high rise but low rise just don’t exist anywhere.
Instead I’ve been looking to shoes and cosmetics to cheer myself up and was just considering espadrilles! So thanks for your post. Also I have plenty of lanolin cream and very chapped lips so I’ll try putting some on…
The idea of mini perfume bottles is also a revelation, I have stayed well away from perfume counters since my sister sprayed me with a strong and foul smelling perfume in duty free before a long flight.
Hope you’re doing better xx
Try lessenteurs.com for 2ml samples of many wondrous and diverse perfumes. Marvellous
Helpful website, efficient and prompt service, and
A very pretty London shop ( when open again). I haven’t bought a proper bottle of perfume for years,
I prefer to have a choice of sample perfumes Depending on mood, occasion (I wish) weather season etc.
Thanks for your honesty and perfume tips and I like carmex too xxxx
I’m sorry about your neck hope the medication helps, but rest as much as you can. Yes if you could entertain the optimistic thought of the way back up it wouldn’t be rock bottom, its defining feature is the feeling of hopelessness, the rope dropped down after you. The weird thing for me is I felt like this in the months before this all began and so even though this has its awfulness (ongoing health stuff) I feel like I’m just a step above the snakes writhing beneath my feet most of the time and it makes all the difference. I’ve been watching Cary Grant films which I recommend to anyone who needs a moderate amount of picking up, there are a lot of great old classics on iPlayer at the moment. I really think the sample perfume is a great idea – I’ve only ever worn scents bought by husbands or boyfriends (Ha! Listen to Elizabeth Taylor here!) as it’s one of those things I struggle to spend money on and I get overwhelmed and wheezy and can never make a decision. Luckily my husband does always choose something I like. My favourite used to be V by Valentino. I also like that Dior one in summer, with the ad. where the actress walks around taking off jewellery and sounding like she’s clearing her throat. Msellabella on Instagram recommended a podcast that was so interesting on perfume – on 99% Invisible – especially so if you know nothing about it like me (and I will also re-recommend Ella herself after initially discovering her on here, she makes me laugh so often as well as having great podcast tips)
Cindy, you have hit the nail on the head with the writhing snakes. I feel exactly the same way. Thank you for the podcast recommendation too.
I was thinking about mini perfumes too not long ago – I had a sample ages ago from Juliette Has a Gun and now I see they do a little discovery ‘coffret’ thing. It’s out of stock at JL but maybe it’s available elsewhere.
I think I must be quite boring in terms of perfume. I like quite a fresh, airy smell and I know that’s not very cool and I’m meant to smell sexily of walnuts or ooouud or leather tub chairs in a gentleman’s club. But none of that smells nice on me, I’m afraid. The two I wear most often just now are Glossier You and Shiseido Energizing Fragrance. The Glossier one has that ozone-y molecule thing that’s meant to smell of nothing but react with your skin, or summat. I do know that after about 5 mins I can smell absolutely nothing of it on myself, but others definitely can and I’ve had lots of people tell me I smell nice. Probably about 4 or 5 people, which is a lot for me.
When I was clearing out my mum’s house in March I had to throw away most of her personal stuff, but I kept her little bottle of Mitsouko. I bought it for her Christmas present a few years ago and it has about 5 drops left. It was her favourite, along with Chanel no 19. The Mitsouko bottle is beautiful but I can’t bring myself to take the lid off very often.
I’ve still got a bottle of Calèche ten years on … it’s gone properly off now but I still have a sniff and a little cry every now and again. It always smelt terrible on me, but delicious on my mother, otherwise I’d probably be wearing it.
Does anyone happen to know the name of the Santa Maria Novella scent that smells a bit like Chanel 5? I was with a friend years ago as she whirled through their testers, and smelt it, and loved it, but was feeling wormily poor and didn’t check which one, stupidly.
Sophie, according to my in-depth research (Google) it’s Muschio Ora.
Sorry, Muschio Oro, not Ora.
Fuck, I just assumed that would be too hard for Google. Thank you, so much, and now I look like an idle baggage. Which is true, but I try to hide it.
Maybe your mother was secretly DELIGHTED the Mitsouko bottle looked like a bellend! Mothers have dirty minds too. … Please forgive if this is an out-of-order comment, but looking at your profile pic I cannot believe you descend from humourless stock.
Edit: I’ve been looking at the Mitsouko bottle for ages now and thinking how pretty it is, and I just realised that the lid looks a bit…bellend-y.
Everything is cancelled and life is spoiled.
Leona, lid aside (I was going to suggest it was rather like the hilt of a sword, but maybe that doesn’t help) that’s a lovely association to have with your Mum and I hope becomes more lovely and less painful in time. My preferred scents seem to have pear and leather in common so maybe even though I would have said I liked clean and fresh perhaps I am of the tub armchair persuasion instead. Or the remnants of a packed lunch forgotten in the bottom of handbag.
And yes Lansinoh seconded
Sorry, but could you remind me of the straw bucket bag that you saw that was better than the one you had bought?
Have searched your posts but can’t find i
Thanks!
It was from Wolf and Badger! But actually on second thoughts it was a bit see-through and I feel like pens would end up poking through the holes etc
In 21 years I’ll be 100 and wearing Dianasimante.. for as long as I can remember… it’s fresh, young ..not heavy and cloying ….
So yes you may be showing your age but you’ve given me such kudos…
That sounds completely wonderful, and you will be the world’s chic-est 100yr old.
Lumiere Doree is cheap as chips on Allbeauty!
So glad I saw this post because for the last couple of days I’ve been feeling BLUE. And I’ve been weepy. It’s taken me by surprised because the last time I cried was about five months ago so I’ve had quite a good run of it I guess (I’m lucky then given the current global situation and how badly other people have it).
I chose to move to Germany over the Christmas period and moved at the end of February (if I’d have left it any later I wouldn’t have been able to do it because of the travel restrictions and lock-down). And since I’ve been in Berlin I’ve been quite happy, although with little social life to speak of (again, not unusual right now). This is all because last October I ended things with my boyfriend of 14 years, we got together when we were quite young (we’re both 33 now). I had my reasons for why I wanted to end the relationship and I don’t regret it but I’m missing him terribly, he was my best friend (it’s the friendship thing, not the romantic aspect that’s getting to me) .I’d love to tell him but it doesn’t seem fair seeing as I’m the one who decided to break us up.
But still, I’m lucky to have a job (even if my boss is a humorless man with zero emotional intelligence) and I’m not at risk of assassination from racist police because of the colour of my skin so that puts things in perspective. This feeling I have will pass I’m sure.
Face sprays – I was using that one that everyone now uses: Mario Badescu – Rosewater and something, though I wouldn’t recommend it. Not because it’s bad per se but just because it contains perfume / fragrance, winch I’m really suspicious of now because pointless chemicals (even if natural) are apparently not what we want for the health of our skin. Less of an issue for products that wash of though, like cleansers.
Perfume – I love my Gypsy Water by Byredo. I have the spay and the oil. Slow Dance their latest scent is lovely too.
If you like Eau Dynamisante have you tried Zeste Du Vigne by Caudalie? It’s lovely and fresh/green/citrusy but not as sharp.