The new brand NRBY very kindly sent me last year a pair of their luxe joggers to say thank you for me mentioning them in a piece in the paper (the gift came after the fact, I ought to point out).
They had underestimated the size of my arse and they were a little tight, and I thought anyway they would really suit my friend Sue. I passed them onto her along with a Suquu lipstick that I also knew would suit her. She was grateful for both but looked a little askance at the trousers.
“I’m wary of these kind of pants,” she said (she is American). “I have got ninja complex.”
I don’t get it, I said. “Ninja complex,” she said. “You know, no mandarin collars, nothing that looks like pyjamas.” She said it like pyjammas. I suddenly understood: Sue’s parents are from Korea. “You know?” she spun her hands in the air, “I don’t want to look like a ninja.”
Sue is the source of my other favourite dresscode phrase, which is a “buffet dress” or an “all you can eat dress” which is basically something loose that you can hide a bloated stomach in. As you can imagine, Sue and I are pretty good friends.
It got me thinking – what is my dressing complex? What do I cleave to, looks-wise, that I wish not to look like? I think it comes down to barmaid. Not that I have anything against barmaids, I have been a barmaid more than once.
But I have got barmaid complex, which is why you will never catch me, never so long as I ever will live, in animal print. Or a “bright lip” or ruffles or sequins. I wish someone would mistake me for a damn ninja.
Funnily enough, Sue looks absolutely terrific in all the things I swerve. She looks dynamite in a bright lip and a ruffly dress. Sometimes I see her dressed up, (daytime she usually goes for East Coast preppy), in some gorgeous diaphanous thing with her pink lipstick and her swishy hair just so and she looks she made a billion dollars that morning and then spent it all on art. Then she opens her mouth and says something like “Oh my guard if I don’t have a drink in the next nine seconds I’m, like, going to bite someone.”
How about you? What is your complex? Please leave a comment in the handy box below.