Last week I was panicked and stressed because my iPhone and my MacBook crashed at the same time.
It’s slightly my fault: I fight hard against the in-built obsolescence of tech and have stubbornly had my MacBook for seven years. In the last two years it has been behaving oddly – a sort of constructive dismissal on behalf of Apple, trying to get me to buy a new one and I was like nope, and just kept on hacking on with it.
And then one day it went NOPE right back at my nope and let out a strangled QUACK and then the screen went dark and it was officially dead. Then to punish me, my old iPhone 7 did the same thing.
No phone, no laptop. Vodafone were not helpful with a replacement phone but offered to repair it. Repair it?! HOW LONG WILL THAT FREAKING TAKE.
And, no, my 48 hours with no phone and no laptop wasn’t a really refreshing “digital detox”, it was a fucking nightmare. My Ocado order! School pickup admin! Every single phone number for everyone! Waze! School WhatsApp groups! Deliveroo! NET-A-PORTER! I do not use my phone and my computer for fun, they are my life.
I took the phone into Vodafone in Hampstead and said “It’s broken” and the very sweet boy took it and said “Okay” and tried to turn it on. I said “It’s broken,” a bit louder and he went “Uh huh.” Then he waited for a few minutes trying to switch the phone on and then looked up and said “Does it usually take this long to switch on?” and I said “IT’S BROKEN.”
No but seriously he was actually really great and they sent it away to repair and couldn’t repair it (Ha! I told you it was broken) so yesterday sent me a new one! Ching! That’s the next 5 years sorted.
Anyway it’s all fine now but at the time I was pretty jittery about all of it, so I went directly from Vodafone to SpaceNK to calm down where I tortured this girl in there by making her let me try on every single nude lipstick in the place. Because of Covid they have to do it this particular way now, where they take a little bamboo spatula and scrape off a weeny bit to let you try it on.
It was pretty mean of me but it was Monday at 10.30am and the place was deserted so it’s not like I was holding them back from big sales. And I did actually buy something! It was a lip treatment from Fresh, a brand I tend to overlook even though I’m sure it’s good. The word “fresh” and the writing just has the air Tesco’s finest range and I’m, like, what are we doing here, people? Sliced chorizo or a clay mask?
It is a very nice thing and I am really into it – it’s halfway between a lipstick, a gloss and a lip salve and it is a good nude colour. It makes me feel less panicky about things when I put it on. It’s fine! The world is fine! How can it not be fine when here I am, putting a nude lipstick on in my own bathroom! Listen, I never said I wasn’t crazy.
Of course, please exercise caution with this and perhaps don’t buy online as you will want to torture a SpaceNK retail assistant of your own by trying on all the various colours.
Staying with lips, can I please recommend again a brilliant lip salve by Balance Me called Stellar Balm. Back when I was accepting freebies, it was very difficult to tell whether I liked something because it was good or I liked something because I was grateful for it. It is telling the things that were gifted to me that I have subsequently spent my own money on.
I love this lip balm so much – genuinely properly hydrating and sinks into your lips rather than just sliming around on the surface – that I bought two. You only need a small amount per application and it lasts forever. I’ve still got a bit of the one that was gifted to me about 3 years ago and it hasn’t started to smell funny or change in consistency like other lip salves naming no names LANSINOH.
It will genuinely be interesting to see whether my Stellar Balm runs out before my new MacBook Air crashes.
Sorry I’ll shut up in a sec but also, just while I’m here, I got sucked in by those glamorous girls on Instagram with the long fingernails and bought something from Il Makiage! I know!! Who do I think I am, honestly. Anyway it’s an under-eye concealer as my one from Trish McEvoy has run out (which was good, don’t get me wrong but I am SO CURIOUS about Il Makiage). I will report back.
I also in a moment of boredom did the Il Makiage concealer thing and actually despite what the long fingernailed girls said on Instagram, the colour matching didn’t work and it was way too light (unless you aspire to that weird I’ve just come back from skiing goggle eyed look) but they kindly refunded me and let me keep it to give to someone more wan so a net neutral event which these days is a win. Let us know if it works for you if not too much bother. I’d be interested to know.
This is very interesting, thank you. I think even with the detail self-assessment, you don’t always get online skin-matches right because it’s all relative. I consider myself to be very pale but in fact I’m not, I’m sort of tawny. I went a shade darker than I think I am in my head and I’ll be interested to see how that works out.
Frankly their money-back guarantee is pretty flawless – why would you not give it a whirl? And as many people who ask for a refund won’t bother. For example there is so much stuff I would get if there was a refund situation, e.g. Victoria Beckham’s new lipsticks, Trinny Woodall, Glossier Stretch concealer etc
the answer is…. QVC. More expensive to buy everthing there but you can try half a pot of something or try to learn to curl your hair and realise you really are cak handed and have no clue and just send it back!!
WHAT?! you can buy testers on QVC?
No. You buy the whole F’ing product! You can use an entire jar of ridiculously expensive cream and after 90days send it back if it gives you spots…
this is… insane…
beware the addiction…. and the postage pricing!
I didn’t even ask for a refund – I just (very unusually for me) left a review and they did it off their own bat. The formula is great though. BTW glossier stretch stuff is shite IMO. Maybe ok if you’re 18 but it’s a real wrinkle enhancer. In the wrong way. Have become slightly addicted to buying makeup online which is daft because I hardly wear any and also nowhere to go obviously but it passes the time..
I know me too. I’ve gone mad
I’m not tempted by the Ill Makiage because I watched a youtuber review it and she convinced me that it’s all a bit smoke and mirrors, there is only one formula so the questions about skin type are pointless and anyway the colour match is only so-so. But she’s a teenager making videos in her bedroom, so not sure why I’m so convinced. Will be interested in your review. I LOVE the Fenty Beauty concealer, and recommend that if the Il Makiage doesn’t work for you
well… I rather think that some teenager who isn’t in the thrall of mega cosmetics brands IS probably the sort of person to trust on this! But thank you I haven’t got round to tackling a Fenty concession stand yet xx
Sue Madelin says
I have also had my MacBook Air for 7 years, and mine too has been playing up for the last 2 of them. I have, like you, been playing chicken with it, refusing my husband’s entreaties to just buy a new one and insisting that it’s working well enough for now because having just spent ALL of our money on a new kitchen plus necessary garden work I’m not entirely sure we can find the cost of a new one right now! However I finally gave in and agreed to switch to my husband’s two years younger than mine MacBook which he just no longer uses and so we spent pretty much the whole of last weekend backing up his Mac, then backing up my mac, deleting him from his and restoring it with my back up. (Why does that always take 3000 times longer than you think it will?) Anyway, I’m now using his and although it’s better than mine it’s still 5 years old and so not perfect. So I shall be taking your cautionary tale to heart and will give serious consideration to saving up to buy a new one before this one goes Nope right back at me too! Thanks for the head up!
Sue I VERY much enjoyed running might right into the ground. Just keep backing up (but you don’t need me to tell you that).
Lisa J Eveleigh says
I can’t tell you how many people I know who’ve had tech problems recently. My Samsung Galaxy which was only a year old died, landline had a fault and tv aerial broke. Am hoping Rule of Three applies and that’s the end of it, but I’ve backed up EVERYTHING on computer just in case my run of bad luck continues… Lisa xx
Oh my god Lisa is it aliens???