Okay. You are going to think that I have lost my mind when you see what I’ve got for you today but I haven’t, I promise. Or maybe I have. (And if I have, it would explain a lot.)
First is a silk sleep turban. Yes. You have probably seen these around and about the place, especially if you read The Times Magazine on a Saturday because the beauty editor Lesley Thomas is a big fan. If you are new to this, then a silk sleep turban is a turban made of silk, (still with me?), that you wear at night in order to not get bedhead.
The implications of this are that it will preserve a blow-dry for days.
I was drawn to this item after my silk pillowcases from Slip, which were a gift from the company years ago, fell apart literally to rags from overuse.
“Oh well,” I thought to myself, and went back to sleeping on cotton pillowcases. And was immediately aghast at what this does to my hair. Unless trussed up in a topknot or firmly plaited, my hair is a horror show in the morning and I do not have time to waste wetting it and drying it or otherwise trying to make sense of the catastrophe.
I don’t get a regular professional blow-dry, you understand, I’m just not like that (although I endlessly admire women who are). What I do instead, which I call the “Kentish Town blow-dry”, is to have a bath in the evening, wash and dry my hair and then sleep on it. This worked very well when I had a silk pillowcase but now they are worn away to nothing I need to think again.
I have enjoyed my Slip silk pillowcases but they are rather a bore in a way, so I went for it and purchased a SILKE silk sleep turban from Cult Beauty, which had the best rating – better than Slip’s own offering. My SILKE turban is purple and orange and fully ludicrous but it absolutely, 100% works. I had a bath at around 7pm last night, I washed and conditioned my hair, leaving the conditioner in for the proper amount of time, then dried my hair carefully in a pleasing shape with a boar-bristle brush and then coiled it up at the nape of my neck and applied the turban.
“Woah,” said Kitty who was observing me from the bed, (my husband is away, so she has moved in). “You look like a… a…. I don’t know what you look like!” Kitty is now ten and has a hatful of very spirited one-liners and “burns” so for her to be lost for words is quite the accolade.
The turban does not look good. And I have a long-running joke with friend-of-the-Spike Annie Kelly about glamorous women who are not us, who wear turbans to parties and look fantastic in them. Anyway I look as bad in this turban as all the wearing-a-turban skits Annie and I have ever performed indicated either of us might, but it is perfectly comfy once you get over the initial weirdness and it stays put all night.
In the morning, I whipped off the turban thinking “I bet this doesn’t work,” but it did. My hair fell in pleasing coils, there was no frizz or static. If the reviews on Cult Beauty are to be believed, this will work on all hair types.
I’m not sure what I will do when my husband comes home. I’m not bothered that he might find me unattractive in my turban, but, unlike his daughter, my husband is never lost for a solid burn and I’m not sure I can stand the ribbing.
From hair to face. A few years ago I was sent a bottle of “Make Up Setting Spray” by Cover FX. This feels as mad, precious and clenched as the turban, like something that a young person might shellac their face with after applying a lot of contouring make-up. But the fact is that the older you get, the more you need your make-up to be preserved throughout the day. I don’t wear much make-up but the stuff I wear needs to STAY ON, precisely because there is so little of it.
The Cover FX setting spray was fun to apply but didn’t seem to do terribly much. So I invested in one by Nyx and also the current bestseller, All Nighter from Urban Decay. Another one that gets rave review is by e.l.f. cosmetics but it’s very hard to track down. In a sort of Good Housekeeping-type experiment I sprayed one half of my face with Nyx and the other half with Urban Decay. Then I went about my Sunday, with its unpleasant combination of cooking, doing my children’s homework for them, brushing the cats and taking out the bins – all in hot September sunshine – to find that by end of play one side of my face had definitely held up better than the other and that side of my face was sprayed with… All Nighter from Urban Decay!
So if you’re considering a make-up setting spray, the All Nighter hype is real. Has anyone managed to get their hands on the one from e.l.f.?
Also, I must say thank you to the reader who said hello to me at UCS last Friday evening as I was rescuing Sam’s football from rolling onto Frognal. I live for that shit.